Ilha Formosa - Keeping up with the War God

Taiwan Immigration Update II

2009-10-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

Some news on that front. Eventually I received my Marital Status certificate and my Police Clearance certificate and put both through their paces by having them signed and certified by the SA ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Taipei Liaison Office in South Africa. In fact, for a nominal fee the South African lady who works there, Maya Du Rand will sort everything out for you. In fact, regarding the police clearance certificate, it's better if you send it directly to her and let her take it from there. You can contact her through the Taipei Liaison Office in Pretoria. She will take it to the criminal records bureau and sit on their butts to get them to hurry the process up and keep it within the promised 20 odd work day time-frame. She's an absolute life saver.

Those two documents were the big obstacles as basically anything that goes through the South African government takes ages. An American friend in Taiwan applied for his criminal record clearance from the US via the FBI and had it in hand within four weeks. The AIT got his marital status certificate within a week.

So all in all I had to prepare these documents:
1. South African police criminal record clearance
2. Marital status certificate
3. Taiwanese married certificate
4. A valid ARC
5. Arrival and departure certificate from NIA in Taiwan and proof of residence for 3 years (married applicants) or 5 years (single applicants).
6. Language proficiency certificate, which is either certified proof of Chinese language classes at a government approved language center such as Tai Da, NCKU etc., or the Language proficiency test (which I did and proudly scored 100% in).
7. Tax records proving you have earned twice the minimum Taiwanese salary (NT$ 17 836) or bank records or other proof showing you have cash or assets to the amount of NT$5 million.
8. Household registration certificate
9. Two photos, NT$200 and an application form. You also need your passport and some HHR offices require a Chinese chop (seal with your Chinese name).
*Note: All foreign documents need to be authenticated by MOFA, translated into Chinese and the translation authenticated by a local court.

All my documents were in order except for one snag. My tax records weren't sufficient because my ARC school (as many or most do here) lied on my tax returns. further investigation as to why revealed they do this (my school at any rate) and take the surplus the save on tax by giving in faulty returns and give it back to you at the end of your contract period as your "End of Contract Bonus". Initially I didn't think this would be a problem as married applicants don't have to give in tax records, only proof of work, and even that isn't necessary if you can prove that your Taiwanese family can and does take care of you financially (which is probably the case with foreign brides who mostly don't work, but come here for marriage and as housewives).
My problem was twofold:
1. I was still on a work related ARC and so had to give tax records as proof of income.
2. The three year period for married couples is the period you have been married, not your stay in Taiwan. Kiki and I will only be married for three years in February 2010.
The helpful staff at the HHR office suggested I apply for a family visa (Joining family residence Visa - JFRV) and return in February next year to apply for citizenship. I was worried that this would reset my clock and I would have to wait another three years before I could apply, but the lady at the HHR office said this is only the case at NIA (for things like APRCs etc.), but that the HHR office is only concerned with how long you've been married, not how long you've been on a visa or change of visa. She also assured us that as long as we don't leave the country before we apply I wont need to re-apply for a police criminal record or any documents from South Africa.
It is the route they recommend as it makes the procedure much smoother and easier, and it's the normal way of doing it - once again, due to experience with foreign brides that aren't in Taiwan on work ARCs.

So, that's where we are right now. I applied for a JFRV but I'll do another update for that as I think the info I gained will be useful to people who wish to apply for JFRVs and not necessarily naturalization.

Taiwan Immigration Update I

2009-05-14T03:35:00.000+08:00

I'm going to start off this update with a picture of South Africa's new President. Jacob Zuma. You may notice that he's laughing. Well, considering how he escaped a very long prison sentence and somehow managed to climb up the political ladder to the pinnacle of power in SA, he has every reason to laugh. You may even think he's laughing at you. I'm sure, mostly he is. But today, he's laughing at me. And he's thinking, "Ah, my silly whitey. We want you to piss off, but before you go, we want to torture you some more."
You see, it seems the southern tip of Afrika will not release it's clutches unless it's given you an up the rear cavity search of a review of why you're immigrating. Just in case you forgot. Eish.

Three months ago I made the very inconvenient trip up to Taipei from Tainan to get my fingerprints taken (for my police clearance certificate) and to apply for a marital status certificate. The only two documents I need from South Africa. Thank all that's holy in this world!
I was ensured at length by one of the gentlemen there that the marital status wouldn't take longer than a month to six weeks at the most. It's been twice that and still no word.
Fortunately, I decided to delay sending my application for the police clearance as I suspected it would take longer due to elections, Easter and a myriad of public holidays and long weekends in South Africa during March and April. So, I sent it just over a month ago by registered airmail. This shouldn't have taken more than five to seven days to get to the Republic. However, almost four weeks after I'd sent it I get an e-mail from some woman in Alberton that says she's erroneously received my application papers in the post. I've checked the address and we definitely wrote it correctly on the envelope. How is this possible?

Now I need my aunt to go pick it up from this woman and then take it by hand to the Criminal records Bureau. As to the marital status certificate? Still no news. Perhaps that's also been lost in the post.
And all the while, JZ is laughing. Afrika. Is nice.

Taiwan Immigration

2009-04-08T15:50:00.002+08:00

I don't think I've actually told anyone about this yet, but I'm planning to apply for Taiwanese citizenship. In fact, I've already started the process. This, like most visa processes on this fabulous island, is fraught with hurdles, mis-communication, rumour and more communication problems. Also, there are very few resources available online regarding how to do this, or folks who have done it. This is especially so regarding South Africans. North Americans and Brits have an easier time getting info, because there are more of them around. They are a useful starting point, but all things aren't the same for all nationalities, here and in your home country. This has been my journey so far.

For married South Africans (Married to a Taiwanese), the situation is as follows.

You need the following documents to apply for a Certificate of ROC Naturalization Candidature:
1. Application for Certificate of ROC Naturalization Candidature (including two photographs).
2. A legal and valid Alien Residence Certificate or Permanent Residence certificate.
3. An ARC certificate; this is a proof of residence certificate (3 years for JFRV holders, and 5 years for ARC holders) which is actually a piece of paper that you get from the NIA offices.
4. Certificate of arrival and departure dates (Household Registration - HHR - office applies for this on your behalf).
5. Police criminal record certificate issued by the South African Police Services. (Unless you have a JFRV, in which case you only need a police clearance from the Taiwanese police as you would've done that to get your JFRV)
6. Certificates of sufficient property or professional skills to be self reliant; which basically amounts to tax returns for the last year (although some websites say 3 years), obtainable through your employer or the tax offices. For more info on this, see Article 7 of the Enforcement Rules of Nationality Act.
7. Copy of Household registration with completed marriage registration (HHR office applies for this on your behalf).
7.1 If you got married in the ROC (as I did), you need to add a marital status certificate (a document issued by Home Affairs that states you are married, and to whom), translated into Chinese.
8. Certificate of basic language competency (test or 200 hours of sitting in classes). If you're going to do the test you need to apply for it beforehand, and they issue you with a booklet to prepare for it.
9. Certificate fee of NT$200.

Some notes on the above:
The SA Police Clearance certificate and you Marital Status certificate need to be authenticated by the Taipei Liaison Office in South Africa. The Taipei office has this to say about authentication:
1. The document must first be notarized by the High Court. The document must get Apostille - red sticker and green or pink ribbon.
2. It then needs to be authenticated at the Department of Foreign Affairs.
3. The Taipei Liaison Office in the RSA will then authenticate the documentation. Please note: should you be from Cape Town or Bloemfontein, these documents must be notarized by the High Court in Cape Town or Bloemfontein.
4. Authentication fee: R112
Working days: 2 - 3days

This is very inconvenient for the person in SA doing all the leg work for you so I called the Taipei Liaison office to confirm details. I spoke to a wonderful lady, Maya Du Rand, who said:
1. The fee for processing each document is R400 in Pretoria.
2. This fee (only in Pretoria - if you apply at other branches this doesn't apply to you and you have to do the leg work yourself) covers everything. She takes the documents to the High Court and the Dept. of Foreign Affairs to be authenticated and then she hands them in at the Taipei Liaison offices where they authenticate the documents for you.
3. Your "agent"/family member can come pick them up and they get sent to you from there. No mess, no fuss.

After you've successfully applied for the Certificate of ROC Naturalization Candidature you take that to the SA Liaison Office in Taipei and cancel your South African citizenship. With that document in hand you take all the above mentioned paperwork again (except the police clearance isn't necessary, unless you left the country in the interim, as they apply for a police clearance cert. from the Taiwanese police) and apply for Naturalization. After a year you apply for a Taiwanese ID Card, and Bob's your uncle.

I'm still in process, so I'll keep the blog updated on any unforseen details etc.

The Second Day of 2009!

2009-01-02T20:36:00.010+08:00

Okay, some of you may remember this post I made back in August 2008, four months and change ago... It was a fitness challenge of sorts for four months. I challenge I failed dismally, not having actually done anything. Sadly, Fabian was the only one that called me on it as every time he saw me he commented, "I thought you'd quite smoking..." I would then mumble something about, "It's hard...um...still trying...um...", when the truth was I was just lazy and hadn't actually done anything.

So here we go again. Really, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. So far I'm a week into it and I've been keeping up with most of it. I've been exercising, I've cut back on the telly and internet, and I've not had a drop to drink all year!
Actually, the non-drinking is the easy part. I don't go out much if ever and so there really is no temptation. Also, I'm not the beer swilling in front of the TV kind of guy, and there's just something that smacks of the alcoholic about drinking at home alone. I'm much more of a social drinker, and with my current lifestyle (married with children) that pretty much takes care of that.

In order to stop wasting time in front of the telly and computer I've re-committed myself to my Chinese studies, so that's been an easy step also. And actually one I have been doing all along. I even enrolled at the local uni and I currently have weekly lesson with my old private tutor, Kevin.

It's just the smoking that I find challenging. However, even here I've made good progress. I've more than halved the amount I used to smoke, which has been helped by the move to our new apartment (lease with option to buy). I don't smoke in the house at all anymore, and not smoking in front of the TV or computer has made a massive difference.

I also feel that I don't need it as much anymore. Two other developments are sure top help me further. For the second time in six years the government is increasing tax on smokes, which in my opinion is going to make it prohibitively expensive. For me, anyway. I just can't see myself paying NT$70+ for a pack of Marlboro's. And the government has passed new anti smoking legislation that will come into effect on January 11th. They have effectively banned smoking in any public area (including social recreational areas like pubs and KTV's) where there are more than three people present. If caught, a fine of NT$10 000 will be levied. So I feel confident in that area, also.

So, on to the two critical components. The sharp end, if you will. Diet and exercise. I don't seem to eat much, yet I still retain way too much abdominal fat and fat overall. So I've had a critical look at my diet, especially what I consume outside of meals. Previously I committed the major sins of no breakfast (just coffee and a smoke, thanks) and eating a big meal late at night when I get home from work. As you may know, this presents a unique challenge in Taiwan. We (ESL teachers) don't work what you'd call a normal work day, or anything remotely approaching that. I usually get home around 10pm and then proceed to consume my main meal (and usually only meal) of the day! Not good!! During the day before and during work I consume vast quantities of coffee (with milk and two sugars, please) and tea with ... sugar. Obviously, there's nothing right there. Nothing at all.

So, I've changed my eating habits to include breakfast lunch and something between classes, and a light snack instead of a big meal when I get home. I've also given to avoid or minimise complex carbohydrates, or foods that are excessively refined. To the uninformed, this means things like rice, noodles and bread. Bread isn't a big deal in Taiwan, but almost everything includes either rice or noodles. So as not to confuse my diet with a high protein diet, what do I eat. Obviously, in the Land of Rice and Noodles, those two are practically unavoidable. Kind of like herpes in Thailand. So I'm basically eating proteins (including a post workout protein shake, later to be supplemented with creatine) with vegetables, and fruits, nuts and biltong (beef jerky) for snack food.
More importantly, I've drastically cut down on my coffee and tea drinking and I'm currently opting for plain old water. I think the eating is pretty much sorted and I'll see how it goes and tweak it here and there as necessary.

As to the exercising. This part is also going well. I started off with a one exercise per body part, 3 sets, 10-12 reps cycle. Currently I've divided my body between two workouts. Workout A: Legs, chest and biceps. Workout B: Triceps, shoulders and back. At the moment I'm just in the second week and still getting back into things, so I'm taking it easy. However, easy is relative. I've been out of it for so long that almost anything leaves me in a fair amount of discomfort the next day. I reckon this will get better after a few weeks. One thing is for certain, it feels good to get the flushed feeling again that weight training brings.

As I've basically just started I took my measurements again in order to compare in a months time, etc.
Weight - 86.6kg
Body fat - 28.5%
Neck - 40 cm
Shoulders - 131 cm
Chest - 110 cm
Upper Arm - (R) 32/34.5 cm (L) 33/35cm
Forearm - (R) 28 cm (L) 27 cm
Waist - 97 cm
Stomach - 101.5 cm
Thigh - (R) 54 cm (L) 55.5cm
Calf - (R) 41 cm (L) 41 cm

What I find odd is how my left arm and thigh are bigger than my right side. Especially seeing as I'm right handed. I'm also not sure if my body fat is truly that high, as it's a measurement from a medium priced electronic scale. Although I guess even if it's 5% off it's still way too high.
The other thing is, I once read that in order to be perfectly symmetrical your neck, upper arm and calf should have the same measurement. My calves and neck are about right at 41/41 cm, but my upper arms are sorely lacking. This is one area I'd like to address. My main concern is getting rid of abdominal fat, and I was shocked when I did squats today and my old weight belt wouldn't fit...

So, apart from the goals described in my previous post on the subject my main objectives are:
1 - Decrease abdominal fat
2 - Increase arm size
3 - Decrease overall body fat
4 - Achieve a weight of around 90kg
5 - Increase overall strength, endurance, flexibility and fitness.

Much better news than a few months ago, and it's much easier going now that I've actually gotten going.

The Last Day of 2008!

2008-12-31T14:51:00.004+08:00

Guadiamus Igitur,
Nog n jaar is in sy ...

Yep, another year has gone the way of the Dodo and a new one is peaking around the corner. But this year is a little different than the last. The world is teetering on the brink of a depression, but the US has a new President. And all hope is pinned in him to fix the disaster looming ahead. Let's hope he can deliver. Personally, I've decided to be optimistic for once, despite my deep seated distrust of all politicians. Perhaps this one really will be different. And like it or not, the Americans have chosen for all of us, because if things don't improve soon, the top dog will drag us all down with it.
So, for the US and for us, it's out with the old and in with the new.

So, time for a few landmarks of the past year.

Bismarck's awards for 2008

Best animated movie

Kung Fu Panda (功夫熊貓)

Best movie

I am Legend (released Dec 2007 but I'm including it for 2008) and Iron Man share it for me. But I still haven't seen revolutionary Road.

Best actor

Another share between Will Smith (I am Legend) and Heath Ledger (Dark Knight - sure, it's probably seen as a supporting role, but his performance was such that he usurped the entire movie). I also really liked The Happening.

My most followed news item

The US Presidential election. It was almost as exciting as most movies of 2008, until they started voting and the results started coming in. President-elect Obama really ran away with it.
Also of interest to us here on the 'Wan was our presidential elections. Ma Ying Jiu (馬英九) also won an easy election, but seems to have already disappointed most voters. In this, 2009 also promises to be another interesting year. As a side note, the out-going Taiwanese president, Chen Shui Bian (陳水扁) Found himself in legal hot water. He was tried and found guilty of several crimes and imprisoned, then freed after a three day hunger strike and a short stint in hospital. Still not entirely sure how your condition can deteriorate so rapidly after three days of not eating to warrant hospitalisation, but there you go...

My most followed TV series

The Sopranos. Local HBO cable network screened the entire Sopranos series during 2008. Not having seen it all I avidly awaited Monday nights and watched it all. Still only seen the first two seasons of Battlestar Galactica and sorely wish we could get the next season soon. Also sad that Rome only had two seasons. I feel we could have done with a third dealing with the more interesting aspects of the reign of Emperor Augustus. I still don't get the fuss around Grey's Anatomy and Lost.

Sport's Achievement of the year

China (The PRC) kicking ass at the Olympics and winning on medal tally. And the Proteas (South African cricket team) making easy work of the Aussie national side IN Australia to win the series 2-0.

Most disappointing moment in sports

South Africa's medal tally at the Olympics tied with the loss of the Springbok as the SA Rugby official emblem and the Boks failure to capitalise on Wallaby and All Black weaknesses (player diaspora and retirements practically decimating their first teams) to win the Tri-Nations...

Most despicable news item

The still ongoing Zimbabwe saga, the world's apathy regarding the arch murderer/liar/genocidal maniac/Alzheimer ridden old fool Mugabe, and the sad state of Zimbabwe. All unnecessary. Especially regarding the South African government's ineffectual handling of the mess and unwillingness to take real hard line action. Disgusting.
Also, the sorry way in which Mbeki was removed as president. I've never been a big fan, but the way he was removed was despicable, and the election of a man the like of Zuma, equally worrying for the future of South Africa. I fully support Terror Lekota's new break away party, COPE and hope they can bring some dignity back to the true goals of the Struggle.

The Year of the Bull (牛年)

But as the year of the rat makes way for the year of the bull, there is hope for the future. Hopefully Obama can deliver on his promises (although the poor guy really does have an uphill struggle), hopefully Taiwan can make real economic headway in these difficult times, and hopefully the likes of COPE can bring some dignity back to SA politics. SA general elections are due in 2009 and should be a real revelation in terms of where our country is heading in the short term.

So, on this eve of the new year, I fervently pray for the common people of Zimbabwe, my countrymen back home and for everyone around the world. It is my sincerest wish that our worst fears do not become realised and that the world doesn't descend into an ever downward economic spiral and that we can all recover from the current economic climate and credit crunch. Not for the rich, who will only profit no matter what, but for the "everyman". for normal people like you and I. People with normal families and children. People who only want to live in peace, live our lives, make things a little better for ourselves, our families and those around us. With the old year closing out, I wish you all a wonderful and successful new year. May your hopes and dreams for 2009 be realised, and more importantly, may you and your loved ones be safe and happy in the coming year.

Feedjit - Visitor Map

2008-11-03T15:51:00.002+08:00

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map

Ha! I've added the Feedjit visitor's map to my blog! Now I can see where visitors to my blog comes from. Seeing as no one ever leaves comments, except a few folks in Taiwan, and as this blog originated as an updater of my goings on in Taiwan for my family in South Africa, now I can see if you guys actually ever visit the site.

Mhuahahahaha.... (That was supposed to be an evil laugh.)

Mid-Term Exam

Got the result today. 94%. I guess that's okay, but I was hoping for 100% and made one or two stupid mistakes as I was rushing to finish. Better luck for the final.

The NCKU Chinese Language Center (國立成功大學文學院語言中心中文組)

2008-11-02T22:28:00.010+08:00

The Department of Foreign Languages and Literature - The Chinese Language Center is on the third floor.

If you're looking to study Chinese in Taiwan, you could do a lot worse than the National Cheng Kung University in Tainan city. After nearly six years on the island and learning Chinese by myself (which basically entailed writing out characters, learning vocabulary and sentence patterns and practising on anyone willing to strike up a conversation), I decided it was time to enrol in a structured program. In Tainan the options for Chinese studies are rather limited and NCKU has a monopoly of sorts. Of course, you're free to go to any of the other major cities which have many more options, but if you prefer to live in this sleepy city, then NCKU is about it.
With that in mind, and many conflicting stories about the worth of the NCKU Chinese language center, I was more than a little apprehensive to hand over my hard earned lucre.

I went by their offices in August and enquired as to study fees, placement tests, class schedules and other basic questions regarding future studies. They informed me that the next course (Fall Semester) had already closed for applications, but if I wanted I could still enroll. I decided on the spot, "What the heck. Let's give it a bash." I gathered all the necessary paperwork and headed back the next day with the necessary cash and enrolled. Less than a week later I received a letter informing me I had been accepted for the Fall semester. I thought, "I should bloody hope so! I've already handed over the money!"

The Department of Chinese Literature, conveniently situated next to the Department of Foreign Languages which houses the Chinese Language Center.

I went in for a short oral test (written tests can also be taken), which basically consisted of being asked a few questions and chatting to one of the ladies who works in the administration office. I was duly informed that I would be placed in a lower intermediate class, but if I felt it was too easy or too difficult I could move to another class. Thereafter I was also told that besides the ten hours of normal classes a week (two hours a day - I opted for 10-12 in the morning), all students are also required to 5 additional hours of "optional classes.

The entrance plaque to the Hsiu Chi Building.

There is a fairly wide variety of these additional classes, and they range from grammar and conversational classes (of all levels) to literature classes (Chinese idioms, book and film appreciation) and cultural classes. The cultural classes are by far the most popular and encompass things like Chinese painting, calligraphy and Tai-Chi. It should also be said that there is no additional cost for the additional classes and eager students can even take more than the required five additional classes. I enrolled for:
1. Two hours of Chinese painting,
2. Two hours of basic conversation, and
3. Two hours of basic pronunciation.

About two weeks into it all I had come to the realisation that the two hours of basic pronunciation was going to be nothing other than reading pinyin off a sheet practicing phonics and tones. Essentially I have no problem with that (besides the fact that I learnt and prefer zhuyin), except that the lists of words aren't explained in context nor are their meanings. So it was just a two hour marathon of reading unfamiliar words that have no meaning for you.
I then went and spoke to the helpful ladies in administration and eventually expounded on this fact. The additional five hours is government policy for all Chinese language centers island wide and is only necessary if you are on a student visa. I'm not, so I cancelled the class. I continued with the other two because they are useful and interesting. Honestly, I think most are and you just need to choose the classes that suit your needs and/or interests.

A massive stone outside the Hsiu Chi building that reads: 修齊大樓.

All in all, after seven weeks of twelve completed, I have to say I think it was money well spent, so far. My Chinese has definitely improved and I've enjoyed the classes immensely. I live in Tainan, and prefer living here to anywhere in Taiwan (except Pindong). I love the city, it's people, the history and the atmosphere. In short, I feel truly at home here. More than I ever did in South Africa. So for me, NCKU was really the only choice outside of private one-to-one tutors. I've tried that route, and exposure to the language is very limited. I had very little success with one-to-one chinese teachers (except Teacher Kevin, who is famous in Tainan, but one class a week isn't enough). Also, small group classes allow for much more interaction and listening practice and actually works out much cheaper if the course price is converted to an hourly price.

I've never studied anywhere else on the island, but I have heard good things of Shi-Da in Taipei and the TLI center in Kaohsuing. So, my advice would be, find a city where you feel comfortable and look for a Chinese learning facility in that city. Foreigners living in those cities are obviously a great source of information. If you aren't in Taiwan, check out expat forums. I'd recommend Forumosa.

That being said, if you are interested in studying Chinese at NCKU in Tainan, there website can be found HERE. The site has all the info you would need to know before you come to Taiwan (if you are outside the country. It deals with course information, visa issues, living in Taiwan, financial considerations and has photographs that you may find interesting.

On Friday (October, 31st) we wrote a two hour mid-term exam. I'm very interested in how that went. It's been ages since I wrote any exam, let alone such a long one in Chinese! I'll keep the blog updated.

Taiwan - Earthquake Island

2008-11-01T13:59:00.004+08:00

We had some earthquake activity in Tainan on Friday. In fact, I was woken up by the first one of the day; a heavy couple of shakes and a loud crack sound that was similiar to a big crash or explosion. Not a nice way to wake up!

The Taiwan Central Weather Bureau says that seven small earthquakes happened on Friday (31 October 2008), of which I clearly felt three. Taiwan is a relatively active seismic area and small earthquakes are fairly common. But Taiwan has also experienced a few big ones in the past 100 years (over M7.0):

DATE	LOCATION	MAGNITUDE*
Dec 26, 2006	Taiwan Region	M 7.1
June 14, 2001	Taipei	M 5.9
Sept. 21, 1999	Chi-Chi	M 7.7

Here is an image that illustrates to what extent Taiwan is a seismic hazard.

Compared to the Asian Regional Map you can easily see that Taiwan is one of the highest seismic hazard risks in Asia!

From the coloured bar on the bottom of the image you can see that the darker the landmass (in the image) the higher the seismic hazard. Taiwan is the darkest (brown) and exceeds in hazard the likes of Japan! Usually Tainan comes off fairly easier than the north eastern and central parts of the island, and there hasn't been a serious earthquake centered in Tainan since 1946 (which had a magnitude of 7.0). Here's an image with the historical image depiction of the largest recorded earthquakes (M 7.0 and above) between 1604 and 1999.

The map isn't very clear (as it's so small) and can be found here. It fairly amazing how many large earthquakes occur not only on the island, but also east of Taiwan in the Pacific Ocean. Coming from a country that is relatively free of natural disasters (the ANC doesn't count)m it is sobering to live in a country that is ravaged by earthquakes, typhoons and tsunamis; typhoons being the most frequent and biggest causes of damage.

As far as earthquakes are concerned, here is a list of large earthquakes and casualties over the last 101 years in Taiwan:

1906 03 16 - Chia-i, Taiwan - M 6.8 Fatalities 1,250
1910 04 12 - Taiwan region - M 7.6
1920 06 05 - Taiwan region - M 8.0 Fatalities 5
1935 04 20 - Taiwan (Formosa) - M 7.1 Fatalities 3,270
1935 07 16 - Taiwan (Formosa) - M 6.5 Fatalities 2,740
1959 04 26 - Taiwan region - M 7.5 Fatalities 2
1972 01 25 - Taiwain region - M 7.5 Fatalities 1
1972 01 25 - Taiwain region - M 7.0
1972 04 24 - Taiwain region - M 7.2 Fatalities 4
1998 05 03 - Southeast of Taiwan - M 7.5
1999 09 20 - Taiwan - M 7.6 Fatalities 2,400
2002 03 31 - Taiwan region - M 7.1 Fatalities 5
2002 05 15 - Taiwan - M 6.2 Fatalities 1
2003 12 10 - Taiwan - M 6.8
2004 10 15 - Taiwan Region - M 6.7
2004 11 08 - Taiwan Region - M 6.3
2006 12 26 - Taiwan Region - M 7.1 Fatalities 2
2006 12 26 - Taiwan Region - M 6.9
2007 09 06 - Taiwan Region - M 6.2

1935 was a very bad year with two large earthquakes claiming more than 6000 lives! The last really big one was just before I came to Taiwan. It was in 1999 and claimed 2400 lives. In my first few years on the island I lived in a ground floor apartment and hardly felt anything. The last two years I've been on the 6th floor, and that little bit of height makes a big difference. I've experienced perhaps five earthquakes that I could really feel, and several smaller ones with hardly any effect. This image gives an indication of the seismicity of Taiwan between 1990 and 2000 and includes all earthquake activity, large and small:

It really goes a long way in illustrating the frequency of seismic activity on and around the island. The final image I want to share is an earthquake density map of Taiwan. It illustrates the average number of earthquakes per year with a magnitude of 5 and greater at all depths.

To be sure, Taiwan is a very active seismic area, but really big quakes that cause a lot of damage aren't all that frequent. But for a guy who grew up on the Highveld of South Africa, it is a relatively scary prospect. Taiwanese, however, just seem to get on with it as if nothing out of the ordinary ever happens. It's your basic frog and the hot water scenario. Live with something long enough, or grow up with something and people tend to find it normal or unworthy of much attention.

Super Typhoon Sinlaku

2008-09-13T13:57:00.002+08:00

Yet another big Typhoon is upon us and once again we have a Typhoon day. As luck would have it, on a Saturday, when most of us don't work or go to school anyway...

From the Taipei Times:

Super Typhoon Sinlaku churned toward Taiwan yesterday, threatening to bring torrential downpours and violent winds and disrupt celebrations for the weekend’s Mid-Autumn Festival.
“Sinlaku is very powerful and it is expected to impact most parts of Taiwan this weekend,” a Central Weather Bureau forecaster said.
The bureau warned local residents, particularly those in coastal and mountainous regions, to take precautions against flooding and mudslides.
The northern and eastern parts of the country are forecast to experience “heavy” to “extremely heavy” rain, or rainfall exceeding 130mm and 200mm within 24 hours, the bureau said.
At 8:30pm yesterday, Sinlaku was 210km east of Hualien, packing winds of up to 184kph, forecasters said.
For safety reasons, the Taiwan Railway Administration canceled four trains operating between Taipei and Hualien last night. All express trains before 12pm today have also been canceled.
Event organizers have been forced to cancel or postpone outdoor celebrations in Taipei and several other cities for the weekend’s Mid-Autumn Festival as Sinlaku gained momentum.

Mid-Autumn Festival (中秋節, zhōng qiū jié)

This weekend is also Mid-Autumn Festival, sometimes known as Moon festival. The Mid-Autumn Festival falls on the 15th day of the 8th lunar month of the Chinese calendar (usually around mid- or late September in the Gregorian calendar), a date that parallels the Autumn Equinox of the Solar calendar. The traditional food of this festival is the mooncake, of which there are many different varieties.
As usual, I have already received a gift of mooncakes from some students. The locals seem to love mooncakes, but I find them to be too dry. Kind of like eating a cake made only from pie crust.

There are several stories about the Mid-Autumn Festival, but this is the one I have most commonly heard. Wikipedia has a few more...

The story took place around 2170 BC. The earth had ten suns at that time. They burned the crops and people suffered of the infertile. Houyi sympathized the humans, so he decided to shoot down the sun but leave one to benefit the humans. After he shot down the suns, he became a hero. He had a beautiful wife name Chang’e and they lived happily together. Houyi had a lot of apprentices; they followed him to learn hunting. One day, on Houyi’s way back home the immortals emperor gave Houyi a pill which granted eternal life as a reward for shooting down the suns. He warned Houyi, “Make no haste to swallow the pill.” But Houyi loved Chang’e very much and did not want to leave her, so he gave the pill to Chang’e and let her store the pill in a safe place. Chang’e put the pill in her jewelry box. But one of Houyi’s prentices Peng discovered this secret. He decided to steal the pill. One day Houyi and other apprentices went to the mountain. Peng pretended he was sick so that he can stay at home. Everyone went to the mountain except Chang’e, who stayed at home. He intruded in Chang’e’s room and forced her to give him the pill. Chang’e knew she cannot fight Peng so she took flight and flew far far away. She did not want to leave her husband, so she stopped at the moon which is closest to Earth. After Houyi knew what happened, he was very angry and heartbroken. He looked up into the night and called Chang’e’s name. He discovered that inside the moon there was a lady’s shadow that look like Chang’e, so he ran and ran and tried to reach the moon. He failed due to the wind.

Livin' Large - A Fitness Challenge

2008-08-24T16:45:00.009+08:00

Some Background

Ok, I'm 33 years and 3 months old. That's pretty young, right? Some guys my age are in the best shape of their lives, winning Olympic golds, Rugby World Cups and more. Percy Montgomery was 33 at the RWC 2007 and played some of the best rugby of his life last season. That's him on the left. Decent looking sort of fellow for 33, yeah?
Ok, besides looking beefy and fit, the bloke is a professional sportsman and gets paid to run, work with weights and basically keep in tip top shape. It's his job, after all. The rest of us aren't so lucky and after Varsity many, if not most, become a bunch of fat couch potatoes yapping on about the likes of Percy and how "terrible" they played on the weekend.
I know of one or two guys who have kept in shape after Varsity and they really are the exception to the rule. They have my full respect. But it does get a bit difficult to find the time (or the energy) when you have to work until 10pm and run around after your own kid when you're not working. Regardless, the excuses are easier to come by than "finding the time" to just get down and exercise. And sometimes (well, ok...almost always) it's just easier to buy a Hamburger from Burger King on the way home than to take the time to cook something healthy for dinner.

But enough is enough. Three weeks ago I was at my mate, Eben's house where I tried on his Springbok rugby jersey. It's the player's jersey, not the supporter's jersey and looks and sits just as snugly as the one you can see Percy wearing in the picture above. Now Eben is somewhat bigger than me at around 100kg and his jersey sat very snugly on me, and did absolutely nothing for my midriff. Something of a rude awakening.

The second wake up call came this week. On Tuesday I came down with a bout of flu. Now usually I can recover from a cold or flu after a day or two in bed, and I haven't had a serious run in with either in many years. By Wednesday I was much worse and my body had added a violent lung searing cough to it's repertoire. On Thursday I thought I was going to die. I thought I would be ok, by Friday, but that had to be the worst day by far. I had gone to see a doctor and a pharmacist by this stage and nothing had worked whatsoever.
My mother-in-law sent over some Chinese herbal duck soup on Friday, and somehow that seemed to do the trick. On Saturday I felt much better, yet still very weak. Today, I feel like the worst is over, but I still feel weak and sweat even though it's not really hot.
It's been one of the worst weeks I've had to endure in a very long time.

My Days of Glory

At my best I would never have been considered a big fellow, and although I've always loved rugby, I've never been more than a middling player. However, I did have some running skills and I was pretty good in the weight room. To consider how far I have fallen, as an Average Joe, I'd like to put up some boasts. Just to show that I haven't always been a fat git, and to illustrate how an average college athlete can become a thirty-something slob...

Athletics (Personal Highlights)
100m - 11,? sec in my second year (1994 - PUK)
400m - 52,? sec in my third year (1995 - PUK)
800m - 1:58 in my second year (1994 - PUK)
10km - 32 mins in my first year (1993 - PUK)
North Western Command Half Marathon, Potchefstroom
21.1km - 74 mins in my second year (1994 - PUK)
2.4km - 6:55 at Gordon's Bay (1997 - SA Navy)

Rugby
u13 B and C, u14 C and u15 C (Potch Boys High) Didn't play Opens because I felt I was too small, lost interest and wanted to concentrate on running.
Liberalia 1st XV (1993-94 PUK)
Liberalia 1st team sevens (1994 - PUK)
Villagers 2nd XV (1995-96 PUK)
Tainan Rugby Club (been out for a a bit of fun on and off between 2003-2008)

Weightlifting/Gym
Bench - A really sad 100kg one rep best (1996)
Squat - 180kg for ten reps (1995)
Dead lift - 240kg for ten reps (1996)
Best shape - 80kgs, running fit with 7 percent body fat (1996-97)

The Challenge

This is a personal challenge and it extends to anyone who wishes to join me. A kind of thirty-something attempt at rekindling some pride and re-gaining some of the "glory" of my younger days. If nothing else, just to feel healthy again and not to have too much shame when taking off my shirt at the swimming pool or at the beach. I'm also doing this publicly so that I have some added incentive to pony up the required daily discipline and get something done.

Vices
Smoking - 1 and half to two packs of Marlboro's a day.
Drinking - Social beer swilling when watching rugby.
TV - Daily sloth including lying about in front of the TV or computer when not working...
Exercise - Non existent at present.

Tale of the Tape

I took a picture of my back. You don't always get to see yourself from this vantage point, and personally, this one freaked me out the most. Not good by any one's standards, and certainly nowhere near old Percy. The point is to be honest with myself and to challenge myself to get rid of this unsightly girth that has deposited itself on my midriff in the last ten years.

Neck: 41cm
Shoulders: 131cm
Chest: 108cm
Stomach: 101cm
Waist: 98cm
Arms: 31cm (34.5cm flexed)
Thighs: 57cm (top); 51cm (mid)
Calves: 39cm
Height: 178cm
Weight: 85.6kg
Estimated Body fat: 24%
My weight and fat percentage estimate was taken with one of those wholesale electronic scales. fairly accurate, I guess, but not 100%. Good enough to tell me I have way too much fat and not anywhere near enough muscle, but I could've seen that from my picture, also.

The things is, it happens so incrementally that you hardly notice it. You start smoking and one day you wake up, and stare at yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth and you can't quite recognise the old git in front of you. Not to mention the huffing and puffing that goes along with a simple walk up a flight or two of stairs...

Unsightly, unhealthy and a heart attack waiting to happen. Let alone cancer and all the associated lovelies that heavy smoking promises to bring in the not so far off future.

The Goal

Whereas I'd love to look like Percy at 34, I'm not a professional sportsman, and I'll never have the time or resources at my disposal that he has, let alone the genetics.

So my plan and my challenge is going to be simple. I'm going to follow a four month three pronged plan. But before I implement the plan, I will take the last week of August to get my affairs in order. This will include stopping smoking, "Cold Turkey." I've tried cutting down, gum and mouth spray, but honestly, none of that has worked. It all comes down to will power and wanting to quit. Simple as that. And I want to quit. I am also going to cut all alcohol out of my diet for the duration of the challenge (September to December) and I'm going to avoid all venues and gatherings where alcohol is consumed or cigarettes are smoked.
To help with this transition I have also registered at Cheng Gong University for a 12 Week Mandarin course which runs from Sept 15 to Dec 5.

The three pronged plan is as follows:

Part one - running
I will follow a 36 week program (which is longer than the challenge, but will give me something to carry on with after the challenge is over) which begins with 20 minute walks and slowly integrates running until it culminates in a marathon after 36 weeks. Whether I'll actually get to run a marathon is another thing entirely, as I'll just be happy to do a 10km run after the program has run it's course.
However, this part of the plan will give me my much needed aerobic exercise and starts off easily enough with walking which anyone can comfortably do.

Part two - Weight training
This part is designed to build muscle tissue to help burn off fat and to basically look better. I don't reckon I'll get a six pack, but I'd be happy to be rid of most of my belly fat.
I'm going to start slowly with one exercise per body part and work my way up to 3 exercises per body part after the first two months.
Once that has been achieved I'm going to follow the 300 Spartan exercise program and build my self up to a 300 rep exercise cycle as described by Gerard Butler in Men's Health when he was preparing for the movie, 300.

Part three - Diet
Probably the most important part of any successful weightloss or exercise and conditioning program. Basically I'm just going to eat regularly and sensibly. I'm going to cut out all unhealthy carbs like noodles and rice and eat a healthy balanced diet of fruit, vegetables and protein. I'm going to drink more water during the day and cut out sweet and sugary drinks. If I drink iced tea (a Taiwan staple) I'll stick to lemon green tea with no sugar. I love my coffee, so I'll still have one in the morning, but I'll leave it at that.

Feedback

Weekly feedback wont be useful, in my opinion. So I'll blog monthly on my progress, with measurements, but I'll leave all pictures until I've completed the full four months of the challenge. Then I'll do a before and after thing.
And with that, I'm done. But as a last thought, I challenge any good souls to join me on this venture and to challenge yourself to a healthier body and life. There's more to life than watching other blokes play rugby and watching TV.

Typhoon Day - Typhoon Fung-Wong

2008-07-28T17:59:00.007+08:00

Sitting at home with Typhoon Fung-Wong buffeting the island. It's general practice that when a big typhoon hits Taiwan the schools and businesses close; we get a Typhoon Day, which is basically just a day off. Woo Hoo!

As you can see from the visual, it's a pretty big system, but the centre and eastern part of Taiwan will probably be the worst hit. I also suspect the south coast of China is going to be in for a very rough Tuesday and Wednesday. It strange, but it always seems to me that typhoons tend to pick up momentum in the Taiwan Straits and China gets hit a lot worse than we do. Also, down south in Tainan, we usually seem to get off fairly unscathed. This morning was fairly heavy with high winds and lots of rain. It seemed to calm down a little around midday so I went for a walk to the 7-11 (one of the few places open on a Typhoon Day). There wasn't much rain at that time but I was hit by some fierce winds which nearly knocked me over. It's 6:30 now and it's much calmer outside. I have the window to my study open and there's a lovely cool breeze (minus the humidity) blowing in.

Here's an excerpt of a South African news article on the typhoon:

Taipei - Typhoon Fung-wong slammed into Taiwan's east coast on Monday, bringing fierce winds and heavy rains that forced the closure of schools and offices across the island and severely disrupted travel.
The stock market was closed for the day along with all schools and offices and all railway traffic was halted as winds of up to 126km per hour blew across, uprooting trees.
All domestic flights and 56 international flights were scrapped for safety considerations, the Civil Aeronautics Administration told AFP.
Hundreds of residents were evacuated from an eastern village threatened by flash floods before the typhoon made landfall in the eastern county of Hualien at 06:50 (22:50 GMT), television images showed.
The agricultural authorities put 425 rivers on their alert list, demanding nearby residents take extra precaution against possible floods and mudslides.
Thousands of fishing boats have sought shelter in ports.
The National Fire Agency, which co-ordinates the country's rescue missions, said no casualties were reported as yet.
Coastguard officials said their search for a Taiwanese fishing boat which went missing on Friday last week near Matsu, a Taiwan-controlled island group off China's southeastern Fujian province, had to be suspended due to the weather.

Although, I must say, they make it seem alot worse than it actually is, at least down south. I'm fairly sure it's a different story to the east and central parts of the island. Here's what the BBC had to say:

A typhoon with winds of up to 140km/h (87 mph) has hit the east coast of Taiwan bringing heavy rain, and causing schools and businesses to close...
Taiwanese stacked sandbags and boarded up windows as typhoon Fung-Wong approached. Taiwan is still reeling from tropical storm Kalmaegi earlier this month which left 20 people dead and six missing.
Officials said dozens of villagers were evacuated from a mountainous region in southern Kaohsiung where several houses were buried by mudslides caused by Kalmaegi. A Central Weather Bureau forecaster was quoted as saying the total rainfall may reach 900mm (35 inches).

Here's a nice picture of Typhoon Fung-Wong on it's way to Taiwan. From the picture you can see it approaching from the east out of the Pacific, hence the term typhoon.
While preparing for an adult class some years back I discovered the difference between a typhoon, a hurricane and a cyclone. They're all the same thing but they are formed in different oceans. So, a hurricane is formed in the Atlantic, a cyclone is formed in the Indian and a typhoon is formed in the Pacific.
The English word, typhoon, is also from the Chinese word 颱風 (táifēng).
Here's the link to the BBC report with a nice short video of some heavy waves of the north east coast of Taiwan before the typhoon made landfall.

Six Months to a Year

2008-05-04T15:45:00.027+08:00

No, the title of this post doesn't refer to a prison sentence. It seems I run on six month to a year time. The last time I posted (six months ago!!) Joshua was six months old. This Tuesday (May, 6th) he'll be a year old. All I can say is, "What happened???"
Time has gone by so fast this year that the last thing I can truly remember is that it was Chinese New Year and now the year is almost half over!! That's kind of the problem with having two new year celebrations a few weeks apart. By the time the Christmas and new year festivities wear off you're already in the third month of the year.

TAIWAN

Ok, so what's been happening. Well, Ma Ying Jiu (馬英九) won the Taiwanese elections and with him and the KMT (Kuomintang) back in power it seems that ties to China may be strengthened on many levels, mostly in the trade area and possibly direct flights. If nothing else, there wont be any unilateral declarations of independence or impending war over this particular issue in the next few years. Some locals do seem distraught that Chinese businessmen have proclaimed an interest in buying property on the island. As in the Apartheid years in SA, the fear mongers are out in force with, "You see!! They're going to buy up everything and push up the property prices!! Soon China will own Taiwan!"
Absolute bull, of course. Anyone who's ever been around china will tell you there are way more property investment opportunities on the mainland, especially wrt the property development market and the housing market (lots of nicer areas alot cheaper than our beloved isle). If anything, Taiwanese stand more to gain by this (those willing to see the opportunities, that is) than the Mainlanders. Chinese businessmen may very well invest in high end properties or develop properties for business purposes, but this may well be more within the Office lease arena than factories, because it is well known that China can produce anything from cars and computers to shoelaces cheaper than anywhere else on the planet.
And if I'm wrong, then those folks with property can only gain by increased property values. The reality is, Taiwan has the highest rate of home ownership in the world. Rental properties are largely restricted to businesses and single or student housing.

The Home Front

Whatever happens, I do feel President Ma is a cautious sort of fellow that wont be willing to get us into any sort of military problems by being overly belligerent. And when one considers all these things, as was the case in South Africa some 14 years ago, most ordinary folks just want to live their lives, care for their families and educate their kids. The more things change the more the stay the same.

And so it is with us. All I really care about is caring for my family and watching Joshua grow up in a country he loves and can be proud of. More importantly, a country that he can truly call his own without threats of being "pushed into the sea", "one settler, one bullet", being blamed and held accountable for things he never did caused by people he never knew and, basically, to live in a secure environment. I think that's the most we can ask for our kids. Freedom from harm and and place you can truly call home, regardless of where you are in the world.

So, with my boy turning one years old, I'm happy to be where I am. Taiwan.
Updates, ne? Well, he can't really walk yet. Everyone seems to expect a one year old to walk, and you even hear wild stories like, "When I was nine months old I could walk, talk and weighed 15 kgs." People seem to confuse reality with stories told to them by over proud parents. After all, if we were all such advanced child prodigies why are we teaching English in Taiwan for heavens sake? No, Joshua is quite a normal little boy. Perhaps a little thin (he still doesn't like eating all that much, although he is improving), but tall and healthy. Sometimes he makes noises that sound like words but you can never be sure. It seems like he can say, "Mama (媽媽)", "Baba (爸爸)" and "Helloooooooo". Sometimes he also says something that sounds like "Nainai (奶奶)" or grandmother. One thing that is certain is that he has an infectious giggle and a good sense of fun. He crawls around looking for us when he can't see us and rolls after you wherever you go in his baby walker.
He is also quite capable of holding his own bottle, although he prefers water to milk so he refuses to hold his milk bottle. Mommy still needs to do this, sometimes with a great deal of coercion.

Granny's Birthday - 19 March 2008

fl-r: Gege's girlfriend, Gege (older brother - 哥哥)

Mommy blowing out her candle.

Josh and I with the family.

Kiki feeding Josh a strawberry.

Me feeding Josh some cake.

Josh with granny.

He DOES NOT like being left alone!! At least you can see his two bottom teeth in this photo. He also has the four front ones on top.

Some extra stuff from the last few months.

Sticking out his tongue. Honestly, I think he learns that from Eben!!

Making friends.

Bath time a few months ago. Here he was just starting to gain some upper body and neck strength. About six months old or thereabouts.

Watching Super 14 rugby at Leza's house. Go the 'Tahs!!

Family photo. Pity we couldn't get a baby jersey for Josh.

About ten months old, playing with his ball.

Sitting up, and playing with his toys.

More recently, around eleven months. Everything goes to the mouth.

One arm push ups. Gotta bulk up! Gotta play center!!

A recent picture. Not doing anything special. Just looking handsome.

His mouth is open because he's "shouting". He really doesn't like being in the cot.

Just after his operation. A few months ago Josh had to have an operation for a distended testicle. In layman's terms, his testicles hadn't dropped yet, so he had to have a little "nip n tuck." All in all he was a very brave little man and didn't even cry. He was a little sore for a few weeks and would pull his knees up whenever you picked him up. Shame, way too small to have an operation, but all better now.

I think I made a doo-doo...

Daddy's little "homeboy."

Still my favourite photo of Kiki and Joshua.

Ok, so to finish off. It's been an exciting year, and a very quick one, too. Reminds me of that old SA ad, "Quick, hey?" Apologies for the long absence, but I hope the baby pics made up for it. Hopefully I wont take so long to write another update.

Cheers vir eers!!

Joshua - Six Months

2007-11-13T00:00:00.004+08:00

It's been awhile since I've update the blog, and with Joshua turning six months old I thought it was time. I can hardly believe it's only been six months. In a way it feels longer, but it also feels shorter. The sleepless nights definitely make it seem longer, more so for Kiki than me, because anyone that knows me can testify that I could sleep through a nuclear war.

About a month ago, Joshua started flipping himself over. He now favours sleeping on his side more than on his back. He seems to take after his mother here, because he is also easily awakened.

He can't quite sit by himself yet, but he's slowly getting there. He watched the final of the Rugby World Cup and the Argentina semi-final with me propped up in this manner snuggled up in the cove of my armpit. All things considered, he's really a good little boy. He doesn't cry unnecessarily and he can sit quietly and amuse himself. Obviously, he does love company and prefers to be picked up whenever possible.

One of my fellow South African mates, Hercules, and his wife Carolyn bought this awesome "car" for Joshua. Initially he was way to floppy to sit in it unaided, but he has come to rather like it. I think he prefers it to the pram because he can sit up and survey the world around him.

Joshua, always ready with a smile and a giggle. Like his father, he's easily amused. It gives me great pleasure to hear him laugh and chortle with joy. Perhaps we feed off each other in this way. His mother seems to find it very amusing...

Aimee and Caitlin

Caitlin (left) is now 9 years old and finishing grade 3 (old standard 1). Aimee is ten years old (11 in January) and finishing grade 4. These are the most recent pictures I have of them. I truly wish it was more. The forced separation from them has been a true tragedy, I assume more so for them than anyone else. But it's good to see they are doing well and are flourishing.

Some Sad News

2007-10-06T05:55:00.000+08:00

It is with some regret that I find myself the bearer of bad news. Hence the sombre picture in this post. Regular readers of this blog may remember a few months ago (July) I posted and article entitled "Pingtung Wedding." The wedding was between Kiki's uncle and his bride. I related the story that this son is in fact the son of Kiki's grandfather via his second wife, who isn't Kiki's grandmother, who is, in fact, the first wife. I related this piece of information as it is in contrast to our (European) culture and not something that is even much practiced in Taiwan anymore.

For the last few weeks Kiki's grandfather has been very ill, undergone some operations and been hospitalised. Today Kiki and her mom went to Pingtung because they were told the old man's health was deteriorating further. At around 13:30 Kiki called me to say that her grandfather had passed away around midday. I invite all of you who read this to pray for Kiki's family.

Since receiving this news I've felt an increasing sense of depression in my stomach. I had only met the man once and didn't know him very well. So I couldn't really understand why I was feeling this way. Before posting this update it finally occurred to me. When my grandmother (my father's mother) passed away I was sad she would no longer be with me. It was a sadness borne out of human selfishness. Having always been a Christian I never once doubted where she had gone, and therefore I wasn't sad by the actual fact of her death. I know Kiki's grandfather wasn't a Christian, and although Taiwanese people have there own belief systems (be it Taoism, Buddhism, Animism or pure old Atheism), it has weighed heavily on my heart. It's all good and well to wax lyrical about your fashionable beliefs in Agnosticism, Atheism and how fallible human science has disproved the existence of God (or the standby barroom logic that all religion was borne from superstition because our ancestors didn't know any better. But as they say: There are no Atheists in fox-holes. Similarly; when faced with the reality of death, especially someone who doesn't know of or recognise the existence of God, it is depressing to realise that the chance has passed. That soul is lost forever. It is a finality more certain than a head on collision with a freight train.

And finally, us mere mortals of flesh and blood are left behind to ponder and philosophise. Ah Gong, godspeed. May you have made your piece with the Almighty, and may He not find you wanting in His Kingdom. Now, more than any of us, like the legions who have gone before, you now know the truth of that eternal question that haunts all our souls, "What's next?"
May you rest in peace.

The Moon Festival

2007-09-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

This weekend (22-25 September) was a long weekend in Taiwan because of the Moon Festival. The day of the moon festival fell on Tuesday 25 September. Last year it fell on 6 October, the date of which changes as do all other Chinese festivals. Reason being that the Chinese (and Taiwanese) still follow the lunar calendar for most things. In Taiwan, the Moon Festival is basically a time when families get together to braai and shoot off fireworks.

Here is a youtube video on the story behind the Moon Festival.

The Moon Festival

A Moon Festival family BBQ (Braai)

This video was taken on someones roof. Some people (seeing as a traditional house with garden is very rare in Taiwan) tend to braai on the roof of apartment complexes. Yet others do it outside their homes practically on the street. Most, however, tend to go to a park or the beach.

A Moon Festival stripper

In this clip you can see a stripper performing at a temple during last years Moon Festival. The use of strippers is something that has become increasingly less frequent. They used to be employed at weddings, temple ceremonies, god's birthdays and such. This doesn't happen so frequently anymore (more because of financial considerations than anything else) and the girls actually only strip down to their sexy underwear in most cases. Although I almost had a scooter accident a few years back driving past a temple where the girl was already buck naked with families milling around and gawking old men.

At the end of the day, Moon Festival is just a family time, with much eating of traditional moon cakes, fireworks and braais. And for kids and teachers it's as good an excuse as any for some time off. Unfortunately, like all good things, this long weekend has come to an end. Back to the quarry...

Something lighthearted - Youtube

2007-09-18T03:31:00.000+08:00

I came across this relatively ancient ditty on Youtube, probably dating back to the old Apartheid days. I had a bit of a laugh when I saw it, especially the part where they sing, "except Breyten Breytenbach...but he's moved to Paris..."
Maybe you all will also get a laugh out of it.

Joshua videos

2007-09-16T03:36:00.000+08:00

Kiki likes to take short videos of Joshua on her camera phone, and seeing as I've only posted photos up till now, I decided I'd post some of them. Ouma, Oupa and Tanie Nell, these are especially for you. I hope you enjoy them.

Which Hogwarts house would you be in?

2007-09-09T05:31:00.000+08:00

Which Hogwarts House Would You Be In?
	The Sorting Hat would put you in Gryffindor. You are bold, passionate, and brave. You have a highly-defined sense of right and wrong, and you are not afraid to speak your mind or fight for what you want.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Which Harry Potter character are you?

2007-09-09T05:24:00.000+08:00

Which Harry Potter Character Are You?
	You are part Harry. You're a loyal and courageous friend. You'd do anything to protect the people you love, especially if it'll get you a break from class for a little while.
	You are part Hagrid. You're an outcast with a heart of gold. Despite your own problems, you always find time to help those in need.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

The Rugby World Cup is Here!!

2007-09-09T03:52:00.001+08:00

The moment we having been waiting for, for four years, has finally arrived. The nations of the world (the ones who play rugby, i.e. the only ones that really count...lol) have gathered in France to do battle and decide who will be crowned the new Champions of the world.

In Taiwan, we gather together in small groups frequenting rugby friendly bars to watch the action and wait and hope that if the new Champion isn't South Africa, that it is at least a nation worthy of the crown for four years. Not just eighty minutes...

Joshua is also very happy it's RWC. Afterall he was born this year, I believe, because he didn't want to miss it. See that smile? He's clearly very happy about it.

Only four months old, but already Joshua has good tase and the sense to support the best. Thanks to Eben's mother and father for having sent this beautiful pair of Springbok booties to Joshua. As Oom en Tanie die blog lees, baie baie dankie. Die booties is baie oulik.

Putting your foot in your mouth...

2007-09-01T11:26:00.000+08:00

Hahaha...The boy gets more interesting by the day. Lying in bed with him this morning he was all friendly and happy so I had a spot of fun with him.

Literally putting your foot in your mouth. (ok, it's not actually my foot, but he's mine, yeah? So, it's kind of putting my foot in my mouth.) He looked very surprised. Not as surprised as Kiki, though.

Just lying on the bed with Joshua. He's good fun and he's usually very good and doesn't cry much. Actually, he's rather easy to take care for. This afternoon we went for a walk in the park and I had him strapped to the front of me with one of those baby bag thingies. He didn't utter a sound once. He just looked around at everyone and everything and happily smiled once in a while.

It's easy to take a picture of Joshua. Any movement seems to attract his attention and he poses well.

Just lying about enjoying the morning. We've actually been fortunate with the weather this year. The summer hasn't been all that hot and the evenings have been cool with nice breezes. In the mornings it's still nice enough to lie in with the young guy and mommy.

The AltaVista Translator

2007-08-31T07:17:00.000+08:00

I've added the AltaVista Translator device to the blog. You can see it on the right hand side, just above my links section. It's pretty useful and fairly accurate (I've tested it) although it seems unwilling to translate some names (especially Afrikaans ones...I saw this on my rugby blog...), slang and some shortened versions of words. The translator allows you to click on a flag corresponding to your language of choice and translates the entire page for you. Languages available are: Chinese (unfortunately only simplified as this is used on the mainland, although most well versed traditional Chinese readers - I'm able, so native speakers should be fine - should have no problem), German, Japanese, Korean, French, Italian, Portuguese and Spanish.

It's a pretty nifty little tool. If you would like to add it to your blog or website, go here. It's free and easy to do.

For my Chinese/Taiwanese friends:
我增加了AltaVista 譯者設備來blog 。您能看它在右邊, 在我的連接部分之上。它是相當有用和相當準確的(我測試了它) 雖然它似乎不願意翻譯一些名字(特別是南非荷蘭語一□... 我看見了這在我的橄欖球blog...), 俗話和一些詞的被變短的版本。譯者允許您點擊鍵子對應於選擇您的語言和翻譯整個頁為您。語言可利用是: 漢語(只不幸地簡化當這被使用在大陸,
雖然最好熟練的繁體中文讀者- 我能, 因此說母語的人應該是好的- 不應該有問題), 德語、日語、韓國語、法語、義大利語、葡萄牙語和西班牙語。

這是一個相當妙的小的工具。如果您會想增加它到您的blog 或網站, 去這裡。它是free-and-easy 做。

PS - I wrote this Chinese, it's traditional.... (ok, Kiki edited a little...)

Typhoon Sepat - Taiwan

2007-08-18T06:31:00.001+08:00

We have been having Typhoons rampagin through Taiwan for the last three weeks. None have been particularly harmful (in South Taiwan, at any rate), but this one is getting to be a big boy. Usually we are quite lucky in Tainan and are sheltered pretty well, but the winds have been howling since 4pm this afternoon.

My clip is a little short and it doesn't show the full extent of the winds (no sound - they really are howling), and our apart ment is in a little enclave sheltered from the full effect by taller buildings surrounding us. But the sound is still daunting. Note the two walkers in the road... Some people really like to walk, I guess.

In Remembrance of Mimi...

2007-08-05T07:52:00.000+08:00

The cat was called Mimi. That's the fur ball on the left of the picture being stared at by the dawg. Old Mimi had been with Kiki's family for many years and was Kiki's childhood pet. As is the way with severally old creatures, Mimi has now passed on to the big kitty litter in the sky.

Apparently Mimi was so old that the poor animal couldn't pee anymore due to a kidney malfunction. Due to a buildup of urine and other complications she passed on to the other side on Saturday. I was interested to see the outpouring of grief from Kiki and her family over one old cat. Several phone calls ensued between family members, and my distraught brother-in-law even insisted on going to the animal hospital to view the corpse one last time. RIP, Mimi.

The Laaitie

This is his new pose. On his stomach, propped up on his elbows surveying the world around him...

And even so, he still has that intense gazed fixed on his face, staring about watching anything that moves. Looks like he's sliding in for a try, if you ask me.

Ja, definitely sliding in for a try. Legs kicked up and everything.

Came in nice and close for this one. For some reason he loves lying like this. He doesn't really enjoy lying on his back all the time. Prefers to see what's going on around him.

And if you wondered what he was staring at so intently. He was watching TV. For some reason he's a big TV watcher. I think he is just attracted to the sound and the moving people.

Kiki checking out her e-mail. Not the frown. See, it's not just me. He gets it from his mom, too.

Afrika for Taiwan

2007-08-05T05:38:00.000+08:00

This post is for all the readers in Taiwan. Both Taiwanese, and foreigners who have never been to the Dark Continent. And trust me, that old colonial era name is not for nothing. Enjoy...

Afrika - Transport, Innovation and Entertainment

"Ye-ahs, wi nid two go two Harare..." Taxi time, baby. Not exactly the yellow taxis we're used to in Taiwan, but I guess it still gets you from point A to point B. Maybe. As we say in Nanfei (南非 - South Africa), "There's always room for one more."
Wait till you see the 15 man (locally they should be renamed 32 man...) mini buses and big old city to city buses.

"But why? The road, she is in the wrong place..." Ja, nothing wrong here. Millions spent on roads and power lines, but the power line post is in the middle of the road... Hmm... Guess that's why most tinpot banana "Presidents" in them parts prefer to spend 50% plus on tanks and jets. No one can really operate them (or effectively and efficiently maintain them) but at least they're built in Russia or somewhere where engineers have more than a grade two education...

Remember the "Goat Man" from Eritrea that was forced to marry a goat after he was caught fornicating with the barnyard animal? Seems it's not as rare as the Eritrean government would have us believe. Going to the movies, perhaps???

African innovation at its best. Painting the pool. Well, it works doesn't it?

Same special as last month...

In Taiwan, people like to make fun of Taiwaneses and Japaneses English. Notably on here. However, this street sign sure qualifies. Engrish lessons, anyone?

Oh, ok. That totally makes sense. Although, admittedly that logic is way beyond me. So. It's closed because it's closed? Well, I must be here because I'm here, then...lol

A Tale of Three Cows

This Toyota Tazz was hi-jacked. Whereupon it was used in another criminal act and eventually crashed as can be seen in this picture. For South Africa, nothing strange as yet. Just another day at the office for Gautengers, no?

Er...These three cows were also stolen. Perhaps after the Toyota was hi-jacked. Either that or they were hitching a ride to Bloem to watch the Cheetahs play the Bulls...

A nice view of the spacious seating arrangements made for the three cows. Notice that the back and passenger seats were removed. Rather thoughtful of the hi-jackers...

The three cows after the accident. Walking around right as rain. At least the three cows are representative of the nation. One white, one black and one brown. Perhaps it really was affirmative shopping... Only in Afrika.

Birthday girl

2007-07-22T06:56:00.000+08:00

July 12 was Kiki's birthday. Unfortunately it fell on a Thursday, but we still managed to go out for a lekker birthday dinner. The Thursday deal was unfortunate mostly because Kiki's family were working etc. So it was just the three (two and a quarter?) of us.

So here's my birthday girl. All of 23 years old. Nogsteeds young and beautiful. Me? I used to be young and handsome, now I'm just handsome... Where did I find such a jong bokkie?

Another picture of the birthday girl. We went to a lekker restaurant in Tainan, which you have to book for because it's so popular. It's on the 12th floor of one of the more popular department stores (which in Taiwan are invariably built as building 15 or more stories high). It's one of those NT$600 (R120) per person places where you can eat all you like. The have Taiwanese, Chinese and Japanese cuisine, although some would have to qualify as foreign foodles. i.e. Chops and steak. Also have two nice German beers.

Kiki tucking into her birthday dinner. She managed to find some kind of pasta or other. I looked but couldn't find the stuff anywhere. I guess it helps to have grown up here. Somethings still allude me...

I'm a big fan of Japanese food (I also love Chinese food, but I just can't take what passes for Korean cuisine...Kim Chi sucks rotten dog b***s), so with a all you can eat evening I took solid advantage of it. For the uneducated, sushi is actually the rice roll slices with vegetables and sometimes small pieces of fish - uncooked. Sushi isn't bad at all. There are many varieties and most are awesome. Sushi is kind of like sex. Highly varied, and even when it's bad it's still good. But my real favourite is Sashimi. Sashimi is what most foreigners mistakenly think is sushi. Sashimi is different types of raw fish cut into small pieces and enjoyed with soy sauce and a small (because it burns like seven kinds of culinary hell) amounts of Wasabi. Wasabi is a thick green kind of sauce that is quite hot. Mixed with soy sauce and enjoyed with Sashimi is pure heaven. I had four plate fulls of Sashimi and two of Sushi. Awesome!!

Perhaps you can see the shell in my left hand. Kiki likes shelled oysters...raw. Well, I've eaten it before...raw, but they were considerably smaller. I opted to try one. For my reaction, see the next photo.

Ja. It was a little too much. Kind of like having a gob full of slimy, chunky gob...erghh!

Joshua and I. Can't say he had much to eat (only mother's milk, thank you very much) but he did sit with me and watch me eat my soup. In Taiwan you can get soup in just a bowl, but usually it's something that looks very watery to the South African eye. The kind that we might more easily recognise (nice thick brothy soup) usually comes in the form above. Soup in a bowl with a pastry covering the bowl. You then break through the pastry and enjoy it with the soup. Smart idea. Good soup.

Joshua looking at the scenery with me eating my soup. Some lekker lamb chops there, too. Nice restaurant. Nice food. So that (and a pair of khaki Crocs) was Kiki's birthday present.

Lying on the bed looking thoughtful. By the frown, I guess it's a little wind. Your guess is as good as mine whether its a top or bottom wind. Both seem to illicit "thoughtful" frowns.

No more wind. Just laying back, enjoying the attention. We like him. He knows it.

Mommy and Josh, together. Mommy looks thoughtful, too. Wonder what that means?

My turn to give him a bath. He takes it in his stride and doesn't cry at all anymore. In fact, he seems to enjoy it. If it weren't for the heat and the sweating that follows, I'd enjoy it, too. Kiki gets around it by just bathing with him. Very interesting method.

Pingtung Wedding

2007-07-07T03:48:00.000+08:00

Ja, a lekker Friday off from work. Any old excuse, ne? So what happened was that Kiki's uncle was getting married. So some background. The uncle is the son of Kiki's grandfather (Joshua's great grandfather), but not Kiki's grandmother. You see, Kiki's grandfather is still the old traditional style bloke who had more than one wife. That's right, the uncle is the only son from Grandpa's second wife. Incidently, second wife and first wife (Kiki's ouma) live basically next to each other in their own seperate houses. Where does grandpa live? Well, wherever he wants to, innit?
So, with our red envelope prepared (the traditional money gift given to Taiwanese and Chinese when getting married) we went off to Pingtung for the day.

The Happy couple. With Taiwanese weddings they're big on pictures. More so than us Saffas. They even have small name card style pictures made up for all the guests to take home. Directly behind the photo you can see a table. On this table you can find the name card pictures, and also some cigarettes (should you wish to light up and didn't bring your own) and some binlang. I don't think I need to get into the binlang thing again, as I've written about it before, here.

Outside under a canvas awning the crowd stretches out before you like the 12 tribes of Israel. To be sure, there are some friends here, but if you can believe it, most of the nearly 250 people that came were family members. Kiki's family is about half Taiwanese Aboriginal. Taiwanese Aboriginals were the first settlers on the island and are similiar (as DNA research has proven), if not identical, to the Pacific Islanders such as Samoans, Fijians, Tongans and Hawain Islanders. Most of the South Taiwanese Aboriginals have a close relationship (fond memories) of the Dutch occupation of 400 years ago. Some even believed in later centuries (especially the 1800's) that the English and subsequent missionaries had come back (thinking them to also be Dutch) to free them from the Chinese occupiers.
The Aboriginals also tend to be more friendly, care free and like a bit of the drink. So there was no shortage of rice wine and beer. We were given at least six big bottles of Taiwan Beer and a bottle of rice wine to take home. Lekker.

Joshua being held by one of Kiki's aunties (her mother's sister) on the right, with Kiki's mum in the centre and granny on the left. As usual, he was a big hit and the source of much attention.

After the wedding, which consisted mostly of eating, drinking and socialising (and the bridal pair walking around to say hi to everyone) we spent some time chatting to the family. Here we have a tired Joshua with granny (his great grandmother).

With Kiki's mother, Joshua's grandmother. Ouma came with us from Tainan for the day, and afterwards we went to Kaohsuing to have dinner at a massive new mall that had opened recently. The thing is at least as big as Menlyn Mall in Pretoria. Taiwanese love shopping...

The wedding was held on the family farm, first established by Kiki's great grandfather. Today Kiki's grandfather still farms pigs and some crops on the land. Kiki's great grandmother, grandfather, his three brothers, two woves and some children still live there, each in their own houses. Some help with the farm, but most have other jobs and business interests.
The picture above is of the family Daoist temple built by Kiki's great grandfather.

The Dragon Tower on the right hand side of the main roof.

The entrance of the temple, with two Chinese lions guarding the entrance against evil spirits.

This is a closer view of the Dragon Tower. The craftsmanship is superb. Chinese Daosit temples are always heavily adorned with dragons, lions and pheonixes. Whether one is a Daosit or not, one can't but help admire the beauty of the work.

Roght now, I'm off to drink some of that beer and watch the Springboks play Australia.

The wee one getting fatter and friendlier.

2007-07-01T03:34:00.000+08:00

Kiki has a nifty camera feature on her cel phone. It's one of those Nokia's that kind of look like a camera and takes pretty decent pictures. Especially for a cel phone. Here are some recent ones she took while I was at work...

Mommy and Josh. He never ceases to amaze me with the hilarious expressions he comes up with. For me, this one is a classic.

Mommy being silly, and Josh giving a knowing look. His expression with Kiki pulling a face is just priceless.

Okay, here he's just starting to look bored.

Dummy mode. Sometimes he gets so tired, but it's a real hassle to get him to actually sleep. Once he sleeps, though, he sleeps well. Kind of like his dad.

At almost two months old he's starting to get a little more "personality," smiling and even what sounds like a laugh.

And it doesn't take long before he gets the , "I'm bored." look again.

Lekker big eyes hey! All the better to see you with.

Sleepy time. When he sleeps, he sleeps. Not one to be easily woken up, our Joshua.

Smiling for the camera. I wonder how much he actually realises what's going on around him at this stage. He also loves his pram. When he doesn't want to sleep, just push him around a little. He soon gets dozy and drifts off.

On the back, sprawled out and napping. Dreamland is a nice place to be.

Yup. Starting to wake up. The obligatory stretches that make him look like a little turtle on its back. So, in Chinese I sometimes call him "wugui" (烏龜), turtle.

Treeless City, Starless night...

2007-07-01T01:39:00.000+08:00

It seems as if the standard of journalism in South Africa has plummeted to the same poor depths as the ability of it's politicians to see reason and think logically. One article that is of interest to Taiwanese and South Africans alike is a feature in "Die Beeld" written by one, Cobus Olivier. He spins a yarn that makes it hard to believe that he has ever been to Taiwan, let alone actually lives here. Seeing as he does live here, I expect he is merely pandering to the low expectations of his semi-literate readership. One quote that come to mind is the following:

Hier word koffie en tee koud bedien. As jy dit warm verkies, moet jy daarvoor vra.

Translation: Here, coffee and tea are served cold. If you want it hot, you need to ask for it.

Blogger doesn't have emoticons, but I am rolling my eyes. The entire article is written giving us an "insiders" view of Mr. Olivier's day. He goes on to state:

Die straat om die sirkel is besig. Aan die oorkant van die sirkel langs ’n klein boekwinkel is die bushalte waar ek die bus kleuterskool (werk) toe neem. Busse het geen nommers op nie, net ’n naam in Chinees geskribbel.

Translation: The street around the circle is busy. On the other side of the circle, next to a small bookstore, is the bus stop where I take the bus to Kindergarten (work). Buses have no numbers on them, only names scribbled in Chinese.

There is so much wrong with this single quote. The illustrious Cobus has just admitted to working in an industry that is illegal for foreigners to work in. Yes, foreigners do work in Kindergartens and they get away with it as it isn't really a law that is fiercely enforced or policed much. But this is now the second non-English first language speaking Saffa that has proclaimed to work at a Kindergarten. At least Cobus did so in Afrikaans and in a SA newspaper. The other fellow wrote it in his book (published in English and Chinese) on his Taiwan experience and is still currently working here.
As for the Chinese "scribbled" on the buses. He lives in Zhongli, which is a relatively small town. All major towns and cities have bilingual (albeit with questionable quality) public services and it doesn't take a genius to figure out which bus or MRT to take. Apart from that, like so many of this ilk that I've come across in Taiwan, he seems to live an existence apart from mainstream Taiwanese society. Living in a foreign (non-Taiwanese) bubble without engaging the society he's in the least nor attempting to acquire even the most rudimentary Mandarin skills. The type that stays, two, maybe three years on the island without ever really experiencing anything it has to offer, yet still being dumbfounded to find Chinese characters "scribbled" everywhere. This obtuse kind of existence never ceases to amaze me.

By die kleuterskool waar ek Engels gee, die Melton Kindergarten, storm ’n swerm skreeuende kleuters op my af. “Mr. Coby! Mr. Coby!”. Hulle noem my so, want Coby is die naaste Engelse naam aan Cobus waaraan ek kon dink.

Translation: At the kindergarten where I teach English, the Melton Kindergarten, a swarm of toddlers storm towards me. "Mr. Coby! Mr. Coby!". They call me this, because Coby is the closest English name to Cobus that I could think of.

Oi vey! So, apart from admitting to working in an industry illegal for foreigners to work in, he goes and writes the name of the school. Furthermore, and correct me if I'm wrong, Cobus is the shortened form of Jacobus, which is German, Dutch and Afrikaans for Jacob. Coby isn't even a name, let alone an English name (not to be confused with Kobe, as in Kobe Bryant the NBA star). In the tradition of English names, wouldn't it be better if his students call him Jacob or Jake?

Hier werk ek van 7:30 tot 15:30, met ’n uur en ’n half se middagete. Die Engels wat ons hulle leer is maar baie elementêr en as die Engelse woord nie vinnig genoeg opduik nie, gebruik jy sommer die Afrikaanse woord.

Op ’n dag vra een van die nuwe Chinese onderwyseresse by die skool vir my: “What does ‘mamparra’ mean?” Sy het gehoor dat die een meisie ’n seuntjie “mamparra” noem. Wonder by wie het sy daai woord gehoor?

Translation: I work here from 7:30 to 15:30, with an hour and a half lunch break. The English we teach here is very elementary and if I can't think of the English word quick enough, I just use the Afrikaans word.
One day one of the Chinese teachers at the school asked me: "What does 'mamparra' mean?" She had heard one girl calling a boy a mamparra. I wonder where she learnt that?

What can you say about that? Now I can already see some of the folks back home thinking, "Ag, te oulik! Klein japsnesies wat Afrikaanse woorde se." (Ah, how cute. Little Taiwanese saying Afrikaans words.) Well, bollocks to that. As if we Saffas don't have a hard enough time explaining to all and sundry that SA is in fact an English speaking country and that we (those of us who are first language speakers - not merely nominally bilingual) really are English, you have this gormless article openly admitting to having such poor English that he occasionally can't think of the English word, so he just teaches them the Afrikaans.
Now let's be clear here, the parents pay a goodly sum of money every month to have their kiddies learn the international Lingua Franca, not some bastardised version of it. It's no bloody wonder most of the schools prefer Canadians and Americans, whilst becoming very suspicious at the mere mention of South African nationality.

Our dear writer goes on to claim that they only teach very elementary level English. In my experience (and please note, I'm not claiming nor denying ever having worked at a kindergarten in Taiwan) this means one of two things. One, the school is crap and merely a money spinner. Two, our dear writer is crap and his English ability isn't up to the task. Perhaps it's more a combination of the two. I have known immersion style kindergartens (those where they have a foreign teacher from 7:30 to 15:30) to graduate 7 year olds that have reading abilities (if not speaking skills) at the same or higher level than kids of the same age in South Africa. In fact, where you have kids attending an immersion style kindergarten from age 4 to 7, you may have several students graduating with near first language ability. Granted, these kinds of schools are private and expensive, therefore this is rare but not unheard of.
But if the teacher's ability is so poor that he or she often can't think of the correct English vocabulary and needs to resort to his or her own first (no English) language, then I guess the level of English would be elementary and the children wouldn't benefit as much as parents paying a kings ransom in school fees would expect.

Wanneer die kleuterskool uitkom is die werksdag nog lank nie om nie. Nou is dit tyd vir klas by ’n “bushiban” – ’n naskoolsentrum waar die kinders ekstra klasse loop.

Dit is standaard vir ’n negejarige Taiwanees om 08:00 met skool te begin en dan tot 21:00 of selfs 22:00 besig te wees met skoolwerk. Dan sit hulle 21:00 die aand in my Engelse klas en ek moet hulle opgewonde maak oor ‘n vreemde taal!

Translation: After kindergarten the work day is far from finished. Then it's time for classes at a Buxiban - an after school centre where kids take extra lessons.
It's standard practice for a 9 year old Taiwanese to start school at 8am and to still be busy at 9pm or even 10pm. Then they sit in my English class at 9pm and I have to get them all excited about a strange (foreign) language.

And so the monster raises its ugly head to be identified. Please realise that this bloke is claiming to be working from 7:30am to 10pm Monday to Friday. That's assuming he isn't taking extra work on the weekends. Subtract 1 and a half hours for lunch and a further hour and a half for dinner. That's 11 hours a day. Let's just make it 10. That would give him 50 hours a week! For those who don't know, this is an enormous amount of teaching hours a week. Double the norm. Most of us work 25 hours a week, not including the odd private student on a Saturday. Apart from the fact that the kids (especially the little one) really sap your energy, there is at least some preparation to be done. Especially if you wish to do a good job, making it interesting and educational, not just acting like a circus clown for their amusement.
It then strikes me that this fellow is one of the (too) many who come here just to earn a quick buck and bugger off without really getting to know the island, it's people, it's culture nor it's language. Well, it takes all sorts, doesn't it? It's also this willingness to work absolutely crazy hours that actually has some schools preferring Saffa teachers. Furthermore, I realise that not everyone is interested in Chinese language, history and culture. But, what strikes me about all this (and which is underlined in his article in that worthless rag, Die Beeld) is that this fellow is obviously working such a rate of hours as to compromise his level of teaching. He even admits to this by clarifying his inability to think of certain English words and thus reverting to Afrikaans, further detracting from the actual goal of teaching English to non native speakers.

I guess this is why this article pisses me off so much. Not only is it pretentious and uniformed, but he makes all us Saffa teachers look like idiots and it's guys like this that trample on the very flimsy image we already have. The image of not really being native speakers, and therefore not really qualified to teach English within the ESL/EFL environment.
To Cobus Olivier, it's all a laugh. An article in Die Beeld and a jaunt overseas to hoard as much cash as quickly as possible at the expense of good teaching and the image of all Saffa teachers. However, not all of us are here in such a mercenary capacity. Some of us have vested interests in this country, and yes, even the ESL/EFL industry. Some of us have families here and need and wish to make this our home. A home for decades, not a few years.

Bier is wel duur, maar “pool” is verniet. Na ’n paar spelle stap ek laatnag huistoe. Die strate is nou uiteindelik stil. Bo my is die sterrelose hemel. As jy stip kyk kan jy drie sterre sien. Selfs ná middernag is dit veilg om in die hoofstrate af te stap.

Translation: Beer is expensive, but pool is free. After a few games I walk home late at night. The streets are eventually quiet. Above me lies the starless sky. If you look carefully you can see three stars. Even past midnight it's safe to walk in the streets.

How you can say beer is expensive in Taiwan with a straight face, I'll never know. In a bar a Budweiser or Heineken will cost you NT$100 (R20) for a 340ml bottle. However, the same will cost you a paltry NT$45 (R9) a any 7-11. A local micro brew or Taiwan Beer (draft) will go for NT$100 for a 500ml glass, also. Furthermore, this price has been constant for more than five years now. Working 50 hours a week earning anywhere between NT$550 (R120) to NT$700 (R160) an hour, NT$100 for a beer is a Santa Saver.
As to the stars, if I look out of my house on a clear night I can see the Milky way. I can easily see Orion's Belt and a myriad other stars. Two years ago I even saw Mars on its close approach to Earth. And I live smack in the middle of Tainan city. Were I to go out into the counties the view would be very much the same as you would see in SA.
And so, at least he ends his article on one point I'll agree with. It's safe on the streets, even past midnight. But it's far from quiet. Cars are still rushing around, scooters are humming off to their destinations, eateries are open and even whole families are seated at late night restaurants. If you go hungry in Taiwan, it's your own fault. You can find a place to eat any time of the day. This is the island that never sleeps.

For the entire article (in Afrikaans), go here.

Summer 2007 - It's here and it's hot, sometimes...

2007-06-17T02:32:00.001+08:00

When I first came to Taiwan I was conditioned, and eventually became acclimatised to, severely hot and humid summers which seemed to drag on forever. Winter felt like a quick cool spell in between 10 odd months of sweltering and sweating. The only thing that would bring some change to the weather would be the odd typhoon blowing in from the Pacific, and in truth, they bring no relief, just high winds, lots of rain and in the end the humidity rises higher. Two good things about typhoons though; Typhoon Days (day off work) and the air pollution is blown away.

This year, however, the weather has been nothing if nor unusual. Cold snaps continued well into February and the weather remained temperate, kind of like a real spring, until May. It has only been since May that we've experienced anything like usual Taiwanese summer weather. And even this hasn't been the norm. Unlike what I've grown accustomed to, regular rains have actually cooled the island down. Night time has been frequented by cool breezes blowing through the apartment. All welcome in my opinion.
As an old sailor, I should have read the signs this week. I was up early on Wednesday morning and took this awesome dawn photo . It was a warning, and one that I missed. "Red sky at night, a sailor's delight; red sky in the morning, a sailor's warning."

This is another beautiful picture from my kitchen window. All I could think of was how lovely it looked.

I'm not usually up this early, but with Joshua's sleeping routine it is happening more frequently. On this occasion I was thrilled to be able to take these pictures and witness it for myself.

As the "sailor's warning" states, the day had hardly begun and the sun was barely in the sky, when the rain clouds came calling. This picture doesn't even begin to do it justice, but the rain kept falling all day without abating for a minute. It's a tad inconvenient driving to school on a scooter in weather like this, but this year the rain has done more than it's fair share in keeping the heat in check.

Joshua and Friends

Kiki's life long friend, Xiaofen, has been coming over regularly since he turned one month old. Xiaofen and Kiki have been friends since elementary school (primary school) and Xiaofen has a little boy of her own. His English name is Boris, which I gave him, which is based on his Chinese name. Unfortunately Boris wasn't here the day this picture was taken. He's only about a year old, so I suspect he was with his grandmother.

I decided to take these two pictures of the ladies and the baby, because I have so few pictures of Kiki's friends and family. For the people back home this is something I need to correct. You've only really seen pics of my friends, but I think it's time that I started to pay more attention to Kiki's friends and especially her family. So, watch this space...

Joshua pulling faces. He seems to be doing this more and more and his repertoire of expressions is growing along with his weight. He's now about 5 kilo's and 60 cm tall.

On the other hand, it might not be expression development so much as gas. He tends to get quite gassy after he's eaten, especially after he's had mother's milk. Not sure, but I imagine that might be due to swallowing allot of air along with milk. I don't think he's quite perfected his technique yet.

Just a picture with mommy. He doesn't look very happy here. He likes to be picked up and held. In fact, there's no just putting him to bed either. He's a very good boy, all told, but when he wants to sleep he cries and cries. We've now figured out that he likes to fall asleep on my or his mommy's chest. After that, you can put him to bed and he sleeps soundly.

Being a South African teacher in Taiwan - Part Three

2007-06-10T23:22:00.000+08:00

So, to the heart of the matter. After all is said and done, who is qualified to be an EFL/ESL teacher, specifically in Taiwan, but anywhere really?

The Market in Taiwan

Firstly, the customer is always right, right? Maybe not right, but if the customer doesn't like the product, the customer will take his business elsewhere. I think it's fair to say that in Taiwan the majority of folks think of North America when they think of English speakers. In fact, in most parts of the world the USA has come to epitomise, not only Western culture, but the English language. Other than the erstwhile British Empire, and what now remains of it in the likes of Canada, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand, it is arguable that no other country has done more in terms of the spread and usage of the English language. And I think this may have more to do with the American entertainment industry than just mere economic power.
That, and the threat of the PRC hanging over this island and the veil of US military protection (to whatever degree) it is no small wonder that when locals think of English learning they think of America, and by proximity, Canada. The fact that schools often list speakers from Britain, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa as native speakers actually argues against the oft made point that Taiwanese are ignorant of the "world outside" their country.
The converse is true, however, in the thought that only blond, blue eyed whites from these countries are genuine native speakers of English.

Be that as it may, usually preference is given to North Americans, and even when "other" English speaking countries are listed the disclaimer; North American accent preferred, is invariably listed. And when one speaks to North Americans of colour, one quickly comes to realise that this preference is actually for; white North Americans.
One can argue about racism, ignorance, prejudice, ageism, national preference and not really get anywhere. The fact remains: commercial schools are selling an image and they are perfectly within their rights to sell whichever image is going to net the maximum amount of dollars.

However, this is not the purpose of this post. My purpose is to define who is qualified to actually teach EFL/ESL. I think, by now, we are all familiar with whom the Taiwanese marketplace refers, regardless of morality issues. As it has been suggested that South Africans are somehow inferior wrt to the English language, and that my thread centres around that misconception, I'd like to start there. What follows is based on my own experiences and observations and has no scientific basis whatsoever.

South African English Teachers

Officially, South Africa has eleven official languages. However, to actually implement this would be a logistic and financial nightmare. As a result, the de facto official language is English and is a required subject in all schools through all 12 grades. To matriculate in South Africa and to not be fluent in English you would have to be a complete linguistic moron. Furthermore, you wouldn't be able to function in South African society at any level and would be economically marginalised to the point of starvation.

Of the South Africans found teaching in Taiwan the majority are white South Africans. White South Africans are largely sub divided into two groups; English and Afrikaans. However, other white groups include; Portuguese, Greek, Italian, Russian and other recent (past 100 years) immigrants from Europe. These groups usually speak their native languages at home and English everywhere else. In South Africa you will find fourth or fifth generation Portuguese who still speak Portuguese at home. So, on all South African forms where language is listed, people always list their home language (first language) and other languages.

from an accent point of view the following main accents may be found, which aren't necessarily related to ethnic group as you may find blacks raised in environments where they have distinct British type accents. One most expats may have seen is the black lady who hosts CNN's Focus on Africa show. The main accent types are: Afrikaner, African, Coloured, South African English and Indian. These accents may be either very strong (the minority) or relatively minor withing the general SA English accent. Most people speak with a relatively "flat" accent characterised by a weak "r" (i.e. not rolled in the American fashion) and a more England type "a" pronunciation in words like "can't" rather than the American way. Other than that I think a casual observer might find that the average Saffa tends to speak a brand of English which is a blend of American and British in terms of how some words are pronounced and in terms of which words are used. An example of this may be the use of the word soccer. Here we tend to use the American term and see Football as meaning American Football.

So, when one is looking for a "Native English speaker" in South Africa you are really only looking at white South Africans of British descent, or coloured (SA gvt term to classify people of mixed race) South Africans who speak English and not Afrikaans at home.
That being said, the difference between a SA "Native English speaker" and second language speaker of European descent (not Afrikaners) are zero. Furthermore, the majority of Afrikaners and other South Africans under the age of 30 have learnt English and have spoken it from a very early age, usually at a stage when the mother tongue isn't even ingrained yet. This is due to the fact that most women work and children are left at day care centres and kindergartens (creche) where English is usually spoken anyway.
You may find people from poorer areas where the kids are raised by a grandmother until school going age, which is usually 6/7, and even then the preferred language of instruction is English. This is especially the case among non-whites who openly encourage and want English based education for their kids.
So, in truth, the myth of the heavily accented "Sef Efriken" is so far on the way out as to be almost no existent anymore, especially amongst the younger generation.

North Americans

As far as Americans are concerned, to be honest, there are so many deviations and and localised accents in the States that to advertise that your school teaches American English almost becomes a lie. Canadians seem to have a more standard accent across the board, but even that isn't entirely true. Canadians themselves often enjoy poking fun at folks from New Foundland (Newfies), whom I can only assume are the Canadian equivalent of the heavily accented Afrikaner of years past.
Furthermore, to say that someone who holds a US or Canadian passport is a native English speaker is a bald faced lie. In North America, as is the case in SA, several ethnic and linguistic groups co-exist. Gone are the days of a WASP America. In fact, I've even heard said by Americans that Spanish is fast becoming more widely spoken than English, especially in the South Western US.
I have personally worked with French Canadians that have had great difficulty following an English conversation once it gets past the basics and into an in depth discussion on any topic. One such fellow used to regularly come up to me before class and ask about basic grammar rules.

Britain, Australia and New Zealand

I would expect that Australia is the "English" speaking country that is least affected by non-first language English speaking immigrants. I would wager that 95% or more Australians are native English speakers. I would be willing to bet that this is almost true of New Zealand where at least 80% of the population would be native speakers. If anyone has a problem with teachers from these two countries it's probably a question of how strong the Kiwi or Aussie accent is regarding the individual.
But then again, in my experience I've found that Aussies and Kiwi's are just slightly higher on the preferential ladder than Saffa's and sometimes not even. Just further illustrates how silly the situation is...

As far as the Brits and Irish are concerned. Well, I've heard Irishmen with good clear accents and some where this wasn't quite the case. As far as accent differences go, England's the place to see. Some English cities have more deviations than some countries. Apart from some of the London accents, the accents up north are probably the strongest. To my ear at any rate. That's not to say I can't understand the folks from up there (or from Scotland), I just have to pay more attention when they speak.

Dude! What's your freaking point, already??

The fact that some foreigners seem to think that their particular little brand of English is superior or "The Standard" is beyond dispute. However, those anal retentives don't influence Taiwanese MoE policy, hire teachers or make the rules. So who cares?
The problem comes in the door hand in hand with ignorance. Parents perceive and the schools perpetuate the idea that they are teaching the kids 美語 or American English. This in itself is ridiculous as no such thing exists. There is just English. Furthermore, in America, as in any other English speaking country, there are regional variations in language use, slang and accent. This doesn't matter very much and is one of the reasons that English has become the prominent global language. English is adaptable. If you're from Johannesburg, SA you'll be able to understand John from Arkansas and Mr Naidoo from Calcutta. This is not always the case with Chinese. And perhaps due to this, the Taiwanese don't always realise that regional accent differences don't really matter much. And besides native speakers, the reason for learning a language is to be able to communicate. If you have trouble communicating in English with an Afrikaner or a French Canadian you're going to be in a tight spot anywhere.

When you really get down to it, there really is little difference between English spoken anywhere in the world. The major difference lies in American spelling vs British spelling. Other than that, how one pronounces a few vowels isn't cause for rejecting someone as an EFL teacher. If that were so, Taiwan would have to choose one US regional accent type and only hire teachers who can prove they were born and raised in that area. Otherwise the entire argument as to who is qualified to teach English based on origin and accent becomes moot.

For my part, I don't think someone needs to be a native speaker to teach English. I know a guy from Jordan who has been teaching here for over 20 years and some of his students are currently teaching. I know some of them and there is nothing wrong with their English.
However, if one wishes to persist with only Native speakers that will be about as hard to enforce and check as traffic rules are on Taiwan's roads.
Surely an interview and a perusal of a potential employee's qualifications should be enough to see whether an individual is in fact qualified (academically) and able (clear accent) to teach English.

Being a South African teacher in Taiwan - Part Two

2007-06-10T20:51:00.000+08:00

In Part One the main thread of the post was dedicated to the silly old Alexander letter. Reason for that being that it was the first glimpse I had of folks who think that South Africans are somehow less qualified to teach English than say, Canadians or Australians, and that South Africa may be perceived as something other than an English speaking country like, the USA or Britain.
The Dragon Recruiters information file I received prior to arrival had one thing right, we are low on the list. The preference is as follows: USA, Canada, Britain, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. Schools invariably state; North American accent preferred. The preference can change, as some schools prefer Canadian teachers and I have had one or two offers where the school actually preferred South Africans. In the case of the latter the age old reason was given (that is preached high and low in SA) for why foreign shores seek SA professionals; they are hard working and don't complain.

Moving on from the Alexander Flame Fest, that noxious letter wasn't the last I was to see wrt South African teachers and opinions of South African teachers. Here are some excerpts from my virtual living-room, Forumosa (bear in mind that many of these quotes are from Saffa's themselves); After a discussion about this post with a fellow SA teacher, to avoid confusion, I want to stress that the following quotes were not written by me, but are quotes from other people on the web to give readers an idea how some people feel about SA teachers. This includes everything in ITALICS:

English Teachers will soon need gov't licenses in Taibei...

I wasn't aware that the number of teachers had declined; do you have info on this? I live in Jiayi and the number of foreigners has increased over the last five years. Many small cities that were once without big-noses now have several (usually South Africans).

You're right about the South African thing though, some I've met can barely speak English. That just shows how stupid the schools are.

Sorry, nothing personal against you Alleycat.
It's just that I recently discovered another school that has 8 S.A teachers. 5 of them could barely hold a conversation in English - Another S.A teacher translated from Afrikaans so other people could understand what they were saying. In meetings they speak Afrikaans, and when the boss says that he can't understand, they say "Oh, we'll speak slower for you" , and then they changed to simple English.
I am not saying that it is all S. Africans, as Alleycat is obviously a class act and a top notch English speaker, but there are some, usually hiding away in small towns. In these small towns they make a tiny salary and are happy, but is this acceptable?????
If I were a parent of one of the kids at the English school where they teach I would not be happy. Actually they didn't even pass the required test for their school, but the boss was greedy and needed a foreign face.

I had better add that many South Africans are excellent English teachers and I am glad to count some of them as friends, but even my S.A friends admit that there are many out there spoiling it for the rest of them.

SA Citizens Getting a Hard Time.

What I want to know is: has anyone had any similar experiences or know the reasons for the treatment that South Africans (I really hope its not only me) seem to be receiving at the moment? Is there some devious South African ring conniving to send terrible teachers to Taiwan and sabotage the spread of the English language in Taiwan?
There seems to have been a decision taken in the dank halls of power that South Africans are no longer welcome in Taiwan and every effort should be made to root them out and send them back to darkest Africa where they belong (interminable rant deleted for brevity)...Every South African I know who has been trying to get an ARC has encountered obstacle after obstacle in what used to be the simple process of getting an ARC and work permit to teach English in Taiwan.

I am hiring teachers for several Taipei schools. Recently, we were handed a memo from the Dept. of Education that didn't say we couldn't hire South Africans, but said to "use great caution" in hiring South Africans because of the unusually high number of fake diplomas that have recently turned up among them. I'm afraid the source of all the trouble is the actions of a few bad eggs. We ourselves would like to hire some South Africans, but have run into various snags.

Could it be that South Africans accent is not the preferred accent that Taiwanese parents want their children to speak? Finally, could it be that there is not much understanding of South AFRICA by some people who think it is a backwards poor African country when in fact we all know it is not.

Who Can Teach English?

When a job requires a NATIVE English speaker is it acceptable for people who are let's say Afrikaans, Tongan, any other language speakers to apply? :?:
If the teacher does not have a good level of English is it just tough luck for the school? I have a South African friend who told me that many Afrikaans speakers in Taiwan have difficulty conducting a conversation in English and yet are English Teachers.

The South African folks who teach in Taiwan can be classified into two groups:
English native speakers
Afrikaans native speakers
Schools in South Africa, at least when I was in high school, were arranged like this:
If, like me, your native language is English-both parents are of British descent-then you were placed in the system with English as your first language and Afrikaans as your second.
If, your native language is Afrikaans-your parents are of Dutch or French ancestry-then you were placed in the system with Afrikaans as your first language and English as your second...

Give these guys a break. The Taiwanese government does not understand, and, as long as they don't, any South African passport holder with a degree has every legal right to be here teaching English. Besides, "times are tough" in South Africa. Taiwan is a fascinating country and an economic opportunity for them, as it is for me and some of you.
Yes, I am not happy that although I am a native speaker and speak clearer than many Americans, Canadians, Englishmen, Australians, New Zealanders (the order of preference among hirer's), I am still, because of my SA passport, ranked with Afrikaners in the job hunting game.
Thank god, however, I am out of that racket.

I find it really difficult to believe some South Africans have trouble speaking English. It's our official language. If there are, however, surely, during the interview, you would be able to tell, even if the person is an Afrikaner, whether he or she is able to speak with enough fluency to teach English.

And that things have recently become complicated in getting teachers from S.A. My S.A colleague suggested that this may be the problem. He said 70% of his countrymen that he has met in Taiwan have appalling English. Obviously, from your reply, this is not the case at all.
Yes, it is easy to tell from a conversation on the telephone, however there are some agents who don't allow contact - this makes me more than a little suspicious.
Back to entry complications - S.A people now require a local guarantor before a visa will be issued even for a tourist. Is this because S.A did the dirty politically on Taiwan or is it because of some other problems?

I find that some South Africans are very critical of the "Afrikaner" accent. Grammatically there might be nothing wrong with some body's English, but it could still be viewed as inferior because of the accent.

However, anyone matriculating from a South African high school without being able to speak near fluent English is not going to be able to function other than as a day laborer, as all business, public and private, is conducted nowadays almost entirely in English. I, therefore, cannot understand how a graduate of a South African university, be it UCT or RAU, is unable to conduct a conversation in near perfect English.
Even I have railed against the influx of Afrikaners, but considering how bad our economic situation is and, yes, the reverse discrimination (sometimes called affirmative action) in South Africa, I cannot with a good conscience denounce anyone who has a legal right to be in Taiwan. Can you?

A great deal has been made on some expat forums and blogs on the whole issue, "Should South Africans be allowed to teach English?" It also seems to be a thread that comes up every once and awhile. But if we start questioning the ability or legality of one nationality to teach English, what of the others? Who, then, are indeed "qualified" to teach English? And so, to Part Three we go...

On being a South African teacher in Taiwan - Part One

2007-06-10T19:17:00.000+08:00

I was unfortunate enough to be recruited by Dragon Recruiters (Kaohsiung based racket) on coming to Taiwan, but I was equally fortunate to land a good first boss. That was no thanks to DR, just blind luck. While still in The Republic, DR head boy, Steven, sent me a file filled with "info" about Taiwan and teaching here. I can't say it was very helpful and it was filled with bile about Taiwan and, the first indicator that I would be perceived as less than adequate, that SA English teachers aren't as highly regarded as we might like. His case was built around the "fact" that SA is a little country and that not much is known about it in Taiwan. This may be true, and in fact the popular opinion is that SA is populated by animals and backwards natives running around in skins. This opinion is a generalisation, but the idea is relatively spot on concerning how SA is perceived.

This basic misconception leads to a bigger problem, especially to one in, or hoping to enter, the Taiwanese EFL (English as a Foreign Language) teaching market. I started out in Cishan, which is a little mountain village out in Kaohsiung County, and had little or no contact with other foreigners. My first year in Taiwan revolved around my school and my house and trying to figure out where I was going wrong with my Chinese studies (it later became apparent that few folks - especially the older ones - understood me, because the primarily spoke Taiwanese). After the first year I moved to Tainan and shortly after the move I came across this gem. Here are some highlights:

Why You Should Not Hire South Africans To Teach In Your School.

I am Frank, of HIGHER STANDARDS TAIWAN ASSOCIATION. We are a new, but fast growing group, made up of highly educated people of both Taiwan and Foreign membership. We are a think-tank organization dedicated to improving all areas of life in Taiwan. Recently, there has been growing concern among the general public over the large number of South Africans teaching in our schools.

This is not a good thing for two very important reasons.

Firstly, South Africans are not native speakers of English. Most South Africans speak the AFRIKAANS language which is a mongrel form of the Dutch language...Their accent is absolutely terrible and most North Americans say they have tremendous difficulty in understanding the South Africans...Our children in Taiwan are learning a form of English which is absolutely unacceptable to real English speaking people.
Also, these Afrikaaners have absolutely no grammer skills. It is at the level of a grade six elementary school child in a real English speaking country.
Why do you hire these people considering there are many top Taiwanese students graduating from our universities with better accents than the Africaaners and far superior skills in grammer. Is it because the Africaaners have a white face?
There are many students from our universities here in Taiwan, with majors in English, unable to find an English teaching poisition because the South Africans are crawling all over the Island begging for jobs.
No, your first choice for a good English teacher must be one with a North American accent, either from the United States of America or Canada. The economic and military power of North America dictates the world and their language also dictates the world. Your second choice for teachers must be those from Britain, New Zealand and Australia. You must try to get real teachers.

The second reason for not hiring a South African deals with culture and apartheid. Apartheid is a very offensive policy to any civilized man. In short, it states that all colored races are inferior or lower than the white man and, therefore, they must live separately. The Chinese people were considered colored, under Apartheid, and not allowed to mix with the Africaaners...Yet these same South Africans are here teaching your children.
Because of decades of Aparthied, the South Africans became extremely dishonest, cunning, devious, not to be trusted. In front of you, they are so honest, so kind, so generous, so considerate, but this is just a cover, they are merely sucking for their jobs. All South Africans in Taiwan declare they never supported Aparthied, but by the very fact that they ran away from South Africa proves that they did support Aparthied and they are now on the run.
They are afraid to live in South Africa because the black people are hunting them down for their activities during the years of Aparthied.

Already, in Taiwan there are stories going around of a South African MAFIA. Most South Africans are not of good character despite their wonderfully friendly exterior.
We strongly advice you not to renew contracts with South African teachers and not to hire any more.
Why should parents pay such high tuition fees to a school for a third rate South African teacher that can barely speak proper English.
This is the very first step towards solving this Africaaner problem here in Taiwan. We will follow this up aggressively.

I think any person in a foreign country reading something like this would feel less than welcome and not entirely thrilled. However, the originator of this gem calls himself Frank Alexander, which is definitely not a Taiwanese name. Once you get away from the venom, this is actually an interesting article. With a name like Frank Alexander, this laddie is surely a foreigner (unless he is a Taiwanese posing as one). What makes the article interesting is his abysmal English and poor grammar (kinda like a sixth grader, right?) whilst all the while raging against allegedly bad South African (and particularly, Afrikaner) grammar and English usage.
Additionally, if Frank A is in fact a Taiwanese posing as a foreigner, what of his other position? That of the superior language abilities of Taiwanese graduates? Anyone who has taught here for any amount of time will surely know that graduating from a Taiwanese Uni (or indeed, even passing the GEPT or TOEIC examinations) hardly guarantees any form of linguistic ability. Unfortunately too much is made of passing tests and writing ability, and almost no attention is given to actual listening and speaking ability. If Frank is indeed a poser (as I suspect the moron was), his argument is self defeating.
*edit* That is not to say that I haven't met many Taiwanese with good to excellent English language abilities. However, the majority of them aren't language teachers and cash in on this ability in other professional capacities.

Although, I should say, at the time I didn't find anything funny in it.

More to come...

Teaching English

2007-06-03T16:07:00.000+08:00

My birthday (May 30) fell on a Wednesday, which is a particularly busy work day, so it didn't even feel like a birthday. That being said, I'm 32 now. Feels strange. As a child I'd always wanted to be an international sports person. I was never going to be big enough to be a Springbok rugby player (although, in recent years there have been players smaller and lighter than me, but that's where natural talent takes over - something I also didn't have oodles of) but had dreams of perhaps being a decent middle to long distance runner.
As things turned out, I was just middling (didn't practice nearly as much as I should of) but the potential was there. So then, as I hit 32 I realise, had I gone down that route I would now be at the end of that kind of career. Moving on to new things, as it were. Funny how at 32 I find myself in that position anyway.

Having spent six years in Naval Intelligence and the last four and a half years teaching English in Taiwan (ironically not much different from my previous profession, as the level of English I'm confronted with on a daily basis is basically the same) I find myself at a cross-roads. I really have to give some thought about my future and were I'm heading with all this. Serious teaching in Taiwan (for foreigners) is somewhat of a contradiction in terms. It is possible to teach English at elementary, junior high and senior high schools, but in all honesty, it's not much different from the Buxiban gigs. Sure, you don't have to clown around and act the entertainer quite as much, but EFL teaching is as far removed from "real" English teaching as a jog in the park is from running a marathon. Also, it seems you have less flexibility and you're actually able to make more money with more freedom teaching buxiban.
The other alternative is getting a University job. Now I know guys who have these jobs. They sound awesome. Paid vacations. Few hours a week. Tertiary level students (which implies a higher standard - but the reality is quite different). However, before you're even considered you need an MA and it's best to have a PhD or D Litt et Phil. Also, the Taiwanese Ministry of Education doesn't recognise any degrees done by correspondence. Therefore, for purposes of teaching at a university in Taiwan, UNISA (Ironically an internationally recognised university with highly rated Professors - some of which are at the top of their fields internationally - and courses, as well as some distinguished Noble Prize winning alumni. Amongst them, Nelson Mandela.) is out.
In any event, if normal school teaching in Taiwan (for foreigners) is way removed from the realms of anything considered normal teaching, teaching EFL at a university is even further removed. So far in fact, it approaches the realm of sheer fiction. The Taiwanese education system is terribly flawed at every level and is particularly Confucian bound towards studying and passing tests (know the answer, but not the why) which are all of the multiple choice variety. In my opinion, South African students have a valid point in calling such tests monkey puzzles, as opposed to multiple choice. Also, at university level, students are expected to pass (seeing as they passed the entrance examinations in their final year of senior high) and regardless of cheating, class attendance and an actual grasp of the material, are passed. Especially in English courses, which are not considered all that important, apart from the fact that they are generally so remedial as to be absurd. It is hard to grasp how someone who has spent more than a decade studying a language still has a problem answering a simple question such as, "Hello. What's your name?" or "What day is today?" My favourite is asking an "advanced student, "When is your birthday?" I have encountered third year "English Major's" who have had difficulty with these questions...

So, a university job? I don't think I even want one. So, as far as teaching as a profession is concerned, I have two options. One, stay in Taiwan. Two, leave.
With option one, it seems the best avenue is finding a reputable small private language school that's dedicated towards actual language learning (as opposed to baby sitting), cares about it's students, teachers and Taiwanese teaching assistants. Seems easy enough, right? Wrong. In Taiwan this is about as hard to find as the proverbial needle in a haystack.
With option one there is also the alternative of going to work for one of (the few in southern Taiwan) adult centred language schools. This is actually not a bad option as most of the students are serious (they've grown up and realised that their pay and job prospects in an ever shrinking local job market that has become increasingly competitive can be bettered enormously by simply being English proficient) and wish to improve on a base they already have.

As for option two... Well, there are possibilities. Once I've finished my teaching accreditation (post graduate certificate in education - PGCE) through UNISA the field is open. Ironic that the Taiwanese MoE doesn't recognise it, but Canada, England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand do. Then I'll be able to teach in any of those countries, and qualified South African teachers are rather in demand. Another irony, as Taiwan isn't overly keen on us, and are slanted towards Canadians and Americans, even if they're from Quebec (French speakers) or first language Spanish speakers. It's an oddity within the Taiwanese mind, which is not always particularly logical. I have worked with French Canadians and Spanish speaking US citizens that have needed to ask me to explain grammar to them before they've gone into a class to educate to future leadership of this glorious isle. Have a laugh. I often do.

That said, some other options do remain. Once may Chinese improves beyond the proficiency level of a five year old there will be more commercial opportunities back home as well as in Taiwan/China. There are also other opportunities I'm loath to discuss, as they're still in the "I'm thinking about it" stage.

Remember the halcyon type school described above? The kind where language teaching is actually taken seriously and they genuinely care about students and teachers alike, as opposed to being money grubbers content with whitey acting the clown and entertaining the wee ones? Well, it seems by pure chance, some friendly contacts and divine intervention that I've found one. I've been for an interview (which went well) and will be observing some teaching tomorrow and doing a demonstration of my abilities on Tuesday. If all goes well I'll be starting at one of the truly good language schools at the end of August and thus end a four and a half year career of what can only be described as glorified baby sitting.

With all that said, I must say that I have had some wonderful students over the last few years. Hard workers that take it seriously and like to have a bit of fun. Little boys and girls that play the games and learn and who have improved enormously in the time I've taught them. These little gems have made it more than worthwhile. And the fact that I've been able to live and experience a different lifestyle and culture as made it all a wonderful experience.
It's just that when you start reaching a certain age you start wondering, "What am I doing and where am I going?" There comes a point where playing sticky ball games with 5 year olds, making funny faces and being pointed at for being an oddity in a monochrome society isn't enough anymore.

A Tribute to the Blue Bull Invincibles!

2007-05-20T15:22:00.001+08:00

All rugby posts have been moved to my new rugby blog.

See The Bulls and Springbok page.

Some more baby photos.

2007-05-19T18:38:00.000+08:00

"Mommy!! Not now! I want to go watch rugby with daddy!"
媽咪!! 不是現在! 我要跟爸爸去看橄欖球!

"Hmmmm...I wonder what mommy's cooking?"
嗯... 我想媽咪做什麼飯呢?

"Yeah, like I had it in my hand and everything. No, really!"
對呀, 我有任何東西在我的手裡. 我說真的!

"Okay, so what you do is carry on straight up Linsen road. What? No! On the left. No, man! My left!"
好吧, 你直走到林森路. 什麼?不是! 在那左邊. 不是的! 在我的左邊!

"Hmmmm...Milk..."
嗯... 母奶...

"Hey! Don't make me get up!"
嘿! 不要讓我站起來唷!

"Hehe... Mommy is so cute."
嘻嘻... 媽咪很可愛.

"Um, okay. Let me think about that for a second."
ㄣ, 好吧. 讓我想一下.

Joshua's Week

2007-05-12T17:58:00.000+08:00

Joshua's week began as his life began, at Shin Lau Hospital, Tainan City, Taiwan, about one or two kilometres from our home. For whatever reason he was assigned number six (Flanker!). Here is with mommy recovering the day after the birth. At this stage he still looked so small with a slight red colouration on his skin. Apparently this is normal.

This picture shows his "angry" face. He wasn't really this red, it was just the lighting and my poor photographic skills. But the scowl is all his, although he inherited it from me. I think he's thinking, "幹麼?" (What?)

Not quite so angry looking, but the scowl is never far away. It's as if he's seen a little of the day and he ain't impressed. "Why's my coffee not here yet? Is it coming from Colombia?"

At the hospital with daddy (after daddy had a very long day at work) taking a power nap. I was feeling a little tired and he was feeling a tad fidgety, so I put him on my chest and lay down. It wasn't long and we were both sleeping.

Joshua's cot. He looks almost lost in there and it's difficult to think that one day he'll need a real bed of his own.

As can be expected, he slept most of his first week and after his arrival at home. To be totally honest, he's been a very good boy. He sleeps most of the night, waking once at 4am to get some milk and promptly falls asleep again. He almost never cries and if he does it's not loud wailing. Just enough to let you know something is wrong or he's hungry. He's actually been no trouble at all.

Here he is in his pram (stroller) having a nap. He really does sleep a lot. When he does wake up he opens his eyes and stares around looking at everything, alternating between opening and closing his eyes and scowling.

This picture was taken today, during his afternoon nap. He's a good sleeper and has a very good natured even temperament. So far, so good.

As far as Shin Lau Hospital (新樓醫院) is concerned. I found the staff to be very professional and dedicated. The nurses are always around and willing to lend a hand or offer some advice. The doctor was very good, and arrived as soon as the paged him. The whole procedure (the birth) was handled very well, and although the surgical procedure (cutting the "exit" wider) was painful for Kiki, she seemed to be rather ok the next day. The follow up care for mother and son was taken care of perfectly and there were no complications or problems. The hospital itself is very clean, well staffed, well regulated and there was no unnecessary waiting. Everything went like clockwork. Kiki and Joshua had to stay at the hospital for three days and came home on Wednesday. The entire birth, after-care, hospital stay and medicine cost a mere NT$9600 (about R1900). This is exemplary as it was akin to staying in a private hospital in South Africa. The also offered classes to new mommies and daddies on how to care for their newborns, including bathing, cleaning the umbilical cord, making milk, continuing breast feeding and other need to knows that no one ever bothers to tell you.
All in all, ten out of ten to Shin Lau.

Family Post - Joshua Alexander Smith

2007-05-09T01:32:00.000+08:00

Whew! End of the weekend, and it couldn't have been longer. Just got home. 3:30am local time. After the last update, I got back at the hospital around 8pm. The contractions really started to pick up around 9pm and Kiki was squeezing seven sorts of devils out of my hand every two to three minutes. Eventually the contractions decreased to around one to one and a half minutes apart (although the nurse had already stopped the pain medication at 9pm) and I could see Kiki was really suffering. At around 10pm I asked the nurse how much longer it would take and she shrugged her shoulders and gave me a cryptic "one or two hours, maybe three" answer.

Kiki's mommy, her aunt and her grandmother were there and were later joined by our two trusty friends, Hercules and his wife, Carolyn. It turns out the nurses estimate of "one, two or maybe three" hours was somewhat optimistic. At 10:45pm they wheeled her into the theatre. Whilst experiencing (particularly) painful contractions had had already seen the baby's hair starting to poke out at around 10pm! By 10:50 the doctor arrived and the symphony was fully in progress. I was allowed to take pictures and everything. To help with the delivery the nurses even (quite surprisingly, in my opinion) pushed down on Kiki's tummy and looked for all the world like someone doggedly trying to squeeze the absolute last drop out of a tube of toothpaste. It was the oddest thing I've ever seen. When the head came out it was initially looked like a half inflated paper bag (with a somewhat disturbing protuberance at one end). Once out, it immediately popped out like a balloon inflated in time lapse photography. That was it. The poor little guy is never getting back in there. From this day forth he is in the world, of my body and his journey has begun. The human race is plus one.
Joshua Alexander Smith was born at 11:03pm on 6 May 2007, the Year of the Pig. And despite what anyone may ever say of him, all that will ever matter to me is, he is my son.

The first picture showed little Joshua with his first doctor (posing very sportingly I should add). This picture shows Joshua getting his first bath, and probably one of the few that he really really needed. Why do they always show them so pink and clean in the movies? After they eventually come out they have more goodies on them than a piece of candy that has lain on the ground for an hour. The poor child was covered in blood, after birth and some other things I'd rather not mention. His ordeal was over. His poor mom still had a bit to go.

After his bath, little Joshua was brought out by one of the nurses to be inspected by his anxiously waiting great grandmother, grandmother, great aunt, dad and friends. Unfortunately, whilst he was enjoying rock star level attention, poor Kiki was being sown up. With no aenasthetic. During the birth they had to cut her a "little" in order to make Joshua's exit easier. For Kiki this just added to an already painful two days, and will probably add to her post birth recovery. She was very brave, though.

Afterall the waiting, pushing, breathing, incisions and more pushing I was still the only one who had been able to hold Joshua. And even that wasn't for long. Kiki needed to be tended to and made sure she was in good health. Eventually, after more than an hour, mother and son were reunited for the first time since he made his appearance at 11:03pm. He suckled for about 30 minutes with grandma and dad looking on. Kiki was fine, but it was quite obvious she was very tired. I stayed for a while longer until she was moved to another room. She was very tired and so I came home to let her sleep and get some myself.

I will be very busy the next few days, and I'm not sure if I'll get a chance to call home to Ouma or Tanie Nell. I'll do that as soon as I can. Until then, God bless. Thinking of you all.

Sharks, Bulls and Babies.

2007-05-06T17:10:00.000+08:00

Wow! What a day Saturday was. Especially Saturday evening. All through the day Kiki had been complaining her tummy hurts. It didn't seem too much like contractions, but more like the baby getting too big and moving around causing her pain. We did go to the hospital, briefly, in the afternoon. They monitored the baby's heartbeat and checked if everything was ok. For the pain, it seems they couldn't do much. So we came home and I made dinner and tried to make Kiki as comfortable as possible.

Through all this I then followed the Super 14 rugby action on Superrugby.co.za using their live updates. Usually I would go watch at Eben or Hercules' house as they have some other Internet link-up (paid by credit card...) which directly feeds the games. However, I didn't think it would be at all wise to leave Kiki alone. Apart from being in some pain, the baby could come at any time. As to the first game that really mattered, I was ecstatic to see the Sharks destroy the "Hennsoppers" from the Cape, the Western Storm(in a tea cup)ers. The Sharks humiliated (like almost all the other teams in the competition) the Stormers 31-10. Five tries to one! This was more than enough to move the Sharks to number one spot on the log (a first for any South African side in the competition) and ensure a home semi-final, and if victorious, a home final. Awesome. Well done Sharks.

Kiki was still in pain, but it wasn't getting any worse so I just continued to make her feel comfortable. After dinner she went and lay down on the bed and tried to sleep a little. I was hoping she could sleep because I didn't want her to be too tired when the baby finally decides to come. Between bringing her water and softly rubbing her tummy I made little trips to the computer. The last round robin game was on. The Bulls against the Reds. At this stage a simple Bulls victory would give them fourth place and they would have to play the Sharks in the semi's. Not good, because then we would only have one team with a home semi, and certainly lose one after that. Sure, at least one would make it to the final, but what about injuries. South African games tend to be rougher and more injury prone as local sides tend to outdo themselves against each other. I was hoping for a 45 point winning margin which would place the Bulls on third and pit them against the Crusaders in the semi's, which I think they can handle.
But was I ever surprised. The Bulls were on a rampage and the hapless Reds could only muster 3 measly points. The Bulls spanked them 92-3 earning them, not only the biggest winning margin ever in Super 12/14 history, but 5 log points and a points difference large enough to place them in second spot on the log. Mission accomplished, two South African sides with home semi-finals. I hope they can pull off another super weekend and give us a completely all South African Final! I think they can.

Then early this morning (May 6) Kiki felt the pain was getting too much so I took her to the hospital. This was about at 4am. The nurse hooked her up to the baby heart monitor and also gave her a Sodium Chloride drip. She said Kiki was dilated 3 centimetres.

At 6am I went home and her mom arrived to keep her company. Neither Kiki nor I had slept all night, so we were in some need of rest. At 13:30 her water broke, but the doctor said the baby wasn't ready to come out yet as she wasn't dilated enough.

This is the baby heart monitor. As you can see the baby's heart beats at around 130 beats per minute. Although it does vary and can go as low as 122 or as high as 145. Kiki's mom said that while kiki was sleeping the baby's heart beat went up to 180 at one stage!

I came back after she called and told me her water had broken. But, as the doctor had said, that was all the action we would see for awhile. I stayed with her for a few hours, took some pictures and came home to eat and update the blog. I suspect the status quo will remain the same until the early hours of tomorrow morning. One can never be completely sure of these things, but one thing is certain, if the baby doesn't come before midnight, he'll most definitely make his appearance not long after. When I left the hospital to come home Kiki was dilated by 5 centimetres. So that's a further 2 centimetres since 4am this morning. The doctor says she needs to be dilated by 10 centimetres before the baby will come. I'm off to eat now and then back to the hospital. Will update again once little Joshua has made his appearance.

2007-05-06T15:21:00.000+08:00

Family News - Preganancy update...again.

2007-05-05T16:39:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been a long time coming, and evey week we think this is going to be the week. It's been two weeks of this. Since about 1pm this afternoon Kiki has been feeling increasingly uncomfortable. She says she is experiencing cramps (possibly contractions) that seem to come at five and a half minute intervals. The intervals aren't getting shorter, but they are there. She also seems to be under a certain amount discomfort, so I don't think it's long now. Probably sometime tonight.
Of course, these kinds of cramps could begin and continue for two or three days. But my guess is the baby'll be born before the weekend's finished. I also don't think the heat is helping much. It's been raining a little and as a result it is very humid. Not quite oppressive, but getting there.

Will keep you all posted on any further developments...

Family Post - Update on the Pregnancy

2007-05-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

Well, we're officially at the 40 (41, depending on how you count) week mark. Firstly, we're both happy we made it to May and that the baby will be a May baby (like myself and my older sister, Brenda). We were kind of hoping for a May baby, so this is nice. Now, however, I think Kiki just wants the little guy to come out. She's starting to feel very uncomfortable as her tummy has really gotten big, especially in the last few weeks. Also, the weather is getting hotter which doesn't exactly help her comfort levels. Being at such an advanced stage she is also mostly home bound, although she did manage a nice long walk with her mother and grandmother yesterday on May Day.

So basically what I'm saying is, the baby is due any day now. Today we go to the gynaecologist again (she's been getting weekly check-ups for the past month now) to see if every thing's still fine. When I lie behind her in the evenings the baby still kicks alot. Not as much as four to six weeks ago, less space, but still quite frequent and hard. Sometimes you can clearly feel the feet, the back or the bum, depending on which position he's in. Obviously he's been in a head down position for several weeks now, but he does shift around alot. He's very active. Kiki says she thinks he knows when it's bed time and I join her in bed, because usually he's fairly quiet, but when I hold her he starts kicking and and "playing." Might be because when he first started kicking so that you could feel him, I would play with my hand on her tummy and he would try and kick my hand. I think he still tries to do that, although now it's a little uncomfortable for Kiki.

Will blog an update as soon as he arrives. Until then, keep on keeping on.

Post Moved

2007-04-29T19:39:00.002+08:00

Due to spamming and crude language...

For future reference, if persons wish to make crude or offensive posts, they wont be tolerated on this blog. This is a family blog for MY family and friends, although folks interested in life in Taiwan are welcome to read and post. And if you have something to say, at least have the decency to post using your name and blog ID, if you have one.

Wonder why people think being vocal about someone's personal family blog is ok, but hide behind an anonymous ID.

Whitemen Toothpaste

2007-04-28T02:14:00.000+08:00

Awhile ago, on Forumosa, we were having a discussion on toothpastes. What the more liberal minded (or perhaps it was just tongue in cheek - sometimes North American humour passes me by like a fart in a typhoon) had labelled "racist" toothpaste. The centre point of the discussion pivoted around a toothpaste brand which had had long standing success in Asia. This nefarious toothpaste used to be called "Darkie." Or in Chinese, 黑人 (heiren), which translates to blackman (people); Blackman Toothpaste. I suppose if it had just been called Blackman Toothpaste there would have been less commotion - or at least I hope so, as I seriously can't see anything offensive about that. Then again, some people always find something to be offended about.
In any event, it seems that good old Darkie Toothpaste was taken over by that stalwart of oral hygiene, Colgate. Colgate was trying to break into the Asian toothpaste market (in the 70's I think) and so they bought the no.1 brand in Asia. Darkie.

As it turns out, Darkie then became available in the USA, also. Hmmm. One wonders who was behind that fabulous idea. As can be expected, the US "African-American" (I use inverted commas, because they are about as African as I'm American - aren't they just American?) lobby got upset and threatened to boycott Colgate. Gaining an Asian market but losing your home market "aint good business." So Colgate changed the name to Darlie.
The above picture shows (from left to right) the evolution from Darkie to Darlie. Seems this satisfied the good folks from the NAACP and other concerned lobbies as there hasn't been any further troubles regarding Darlie. But the casual observer will note that the friendly black fellow in the top hat (Darkie on the far left) and the equally gay lad in the, eh hem...top hat (Darlie on the far right) seem deviously similiar. The not so casual observer will further note that the Chinese title still reads, eh hem...well...黑人.

And so, with this in mind, I was somewhat amused to find the following toothpaste at a local supermarket in Tainan. From the Chinese, the casual observer might glean nothing other than that, from the packaging, it is clearly toothpaste. To be sure, not a brand known in South Africa, but obviously toothpaste all the same.
The informed Sinophile, on the other hand will glean the meaning from the characters 白人, which simply means: Whiteman (bairen - White people/person).

I was rather amused by this, as I can see how your average everyday bigot or ignoramus would jump to such racial generalisations such as; Black people all sing so well, dance so well or have such white teeth. But where the idea came from to call toothpaste "Whitemen toothpaste" I'll never know. Anyone who has ever confronted an Englishmen at close quarters will attest to this (or perhaps I'm just being a bigot...lol).
Yet, perhaps there is some logic to this. Anyone who has ever seen any amount of Canadians (especially the under-30 crowd) or young Americans, will know they have witnessed the cleanest, whitest teeth they have ever seen. Now I'm sure there are North Americans with terrible teeth, but I have not witnessed this phenomenon in Asia. Maybe this is were the company concerned came up with the idea.Now, I guess I could have been "offended" by toothpaste called "Whitemen," but being the sort of fellow that I am I'm usually more amused by such things than offended. Besides, they were packaged in a pack of four for the price of one and even came with a free toothbrush. I duly told Kiki to slip it in the shopping basket. I especially like the motive (visible in the above picture) claiming "Guardian of Tooth."
Personally, apart from the humour factor, I'm just pleased as, well...a white man, to be associated with white teeth than the usual generalisations of being a colonialist, racist, advantaged person or some such xenophobic nonsense.

And it's also a pretty nice toothpaste. It's "Whitemen - Guardian of Tooth" for me from now one.

我台灣老婆 - My Taiwanese Honey

2007-04-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

In all my time in Taiwan I've only had two language exchanges (LE). Now I've heard the talk, in bars and in internet forums, how LE is code for fluid exchange. In other words, a way to meet people for amorous rondezvous'. I've never had that experience. My two ventures into LE was first with Riva, who became a close friend, and second with a middle aged Taiwanese guy hoping to learn more English for business trips to America and Europe. It could also be that I'm just niave or my grandmother raised me to be too honest and strait forward in my dealings with people. Be that as it may, in 2005, with more time on my hands to learn Mandarin and with my Chinese improving, I decided to give the LE thing another go. Of all the responses I recieved the only two that seemed to be serious about LE (and not looking for something else) was the aforementioned Taiwanese guy.

The other person was this girl. She said she was 22 and an accountant. She further stated that she needs to improve her conversational levels to improve her job prospects. She was very adamant that she was not interested in foreigners for romantic liaisons. This suited me very well as I was involved with a girl at this stage and was equally serious. As it turned out we scheduled to meet one night during the week after work so she sent me this picture so I would know what she looked like.

She also sent me this picture. Originally we were to meet at the Pizza Hut at 8:30pm. At 8pm I got a message asking to delay the meeting to 9:30pm. At 9pm I got another message to delay until 10pm. I was beginning to feel a little exasperated. Well, it's not like I had anything better to do so I agreed. At 10pm I was waiting outside the Pizza Hut as agreed. This car pulled up, the girl jumped out of the car and thrust a big bag into my hand containing a huge tub of Kentucky Fried Chicken. "I sowwy. Need go. Fwiend have pwobwem," she exclaimed and jumped back into the car before I could say anything. We tried, unsuccessfully, to meet for several weeks but she was terminally busy at work. I could understand this as Taiwanese work crazy hours, even on weekends. I started to LE with the other guy, forgot about her and just wrote it down to an interesting story.

Some months later I was changing my e-mail adress and I mailed the change of adress to all my contacts. I saw this girl's e-mail in my inbox and pondered over it. We had never gotten around to LE but I had had found her antics strangely attractive. Also seeing her pictures again made me think twice about just discarding her e-mail. So I mailed her my new e-mail. Two days later I recieved an e-mail from her and told her I had an LE partner. She apologised and told me she had been changing jobs and had to train the person taking over her position in addition to doing her normal work, which is why she had always been so busy. We started exchanging e-mails like this and finally I asked her if she would be interested in a movie. She said ok, but she's not looking for a boyfriend. I was no longer seeing anyone, but neither was I especially in a hurry to find someone.

That first movie was awful. It wasn't quite a date, and we didn't really know each other. Couple that with the fact that her English was poor to non-existent and my Chinese at the time was halting at best. For the next few months we saw each other from time to time, going out to eat and chat (me armed with an English-Chinese dictionary, and her with one of those electronic dictionaries every young person in Taiwan seems to have). Slowly things started to develop, with no plan or alterior motives, and although I didn't realise it at the time I was becoming more and more enamoured with this "mysterious" girl who wanted to learn English for career purposes, yet didn't quite like foreigners. Her dislike was never openly apparent, as she was always cordial and friendly, but when I asked her about it it seemed that she was a traditional girl (not unusual coming from rural Pingtung) who felt it was wise not to stray outisde your culture. Also, she said she had never really given it any thought.

I did, however, feel that she was warming to me, and with the outset of 2006 we did seem to be spending more time together. We certainly starting to see more of each other than mere LE partners or simply two people who are common acquiantences and slight friends. So, on one trip to the movies our hands brushed together and we sat there like two teenagers holding hands, and our breaths, 'till the end of the movie. That was the beginning.

Here we are at the Armory during the Soccer World Cup supporting Brazil (the cap) and the Netherlands (the T-Shirt). Our relationship almost floundered in early 2006 when Kiki went to Kenting with a group of her friends. I rode my scooter down on the Sunday morning (no mean trip, I'll tell you, it's damn far!) to see her and say hi. To my mind she seemed less pleased to see me than I had expected. She seemed stand-offish and too quiet. I returned to Tainan in a bit of a huff. When she came back I told her I'm breaking it off. She seemed to take it in stride, but in retrospect, she had decided (after my spontaneous visit) that I must be serious, and wasn't having any of it. She had decided I'm her guy, foreigner or not! She went on a small vacation to Japan with her mom and returned bearing all manner of stuff from Japan. Girly things to embellish my apartment. I thought it was odd, as I'd told her we were finished, but Kiki just carried on asif I'd never said anything. That's when I realised that when a Taiwanese girl claims her guy, she claims him. No ifs, buts or whys.

And so, despite my feeble protestations to the contrary we continued on our path. I was actually very happy by this turn of events, and as I was seeing more of her, I found that since she returned from Japan she became more open towards me. Looking back, she had accepted me as her partner and had told her family about me. This in itself is a serious step for a Taiwanese woman. She became more affectionate now that her mind was made up, and we even went out from time to time with her parents. The above picture was taken in Kenting in August 2006. Kenting has become a special place for us, as it marks the Rubicon of our relationship. The point where she realised I was the one.

This is another picture of us in August 2006 in Kenting. It was one of the first real vacations we took together as a couple. Despite the fact that it was a little overcast we had a great time. Kiki is a little afraid of the water as she isn't a strong swimmer, so she spent most of the time in the water clinging to drifting up and down on the waves.

By August 2006 we had already discussed and talked about getting married. It's funny how people fall in love. These happen so unexpectedly but when it's real you can feel it in your heart. This is honestly (in retrospect and with the wisdom of getting older) the first time in my life that I've loved a person other than myself so completely and without predjudice. It's now verging on two years since we met and I can't think how I could have lived without her before. She's become such an important part of my life that it's hard to imagine a time without her.

In November 2006 we were already planning our wedding and would've been married had there not been such a lot of red tape involved. So in November 2006 Kiki accompanied me on our company trip to Taidong. The Taiwanese can be very practical about things, understanding that it was just a formality she came along as my wife, and not just as me+1.

Another picture on the bus taken courtesy of Hercules's wife (also Taiwanese) Carolyn.

Here we are in Taidong visiting a local aquarium. We had a wonderful time and Taidong is simply so beautiful. There are parts that honestly look like the Cape, and particularly False Bay. I would like to buy a house there and retire there someday.

This picture was also taken in Taidong in Novemebr 2006. This was at an Aboriginal village where we went to see traditional Aboriginal dancing and eat traditional Aboriginal food.

This is the hotel we stayed at in Taidong. One thing about the company tours is that we always stay in very nice hotels. This is the best on in Taidong and is a branch or the Formosan in Taipei.

Also in Taidong county, somewhere between stops we quickly rested here for a few minutes to give people a chance to use the bathroom and take a few pictures of this beautiful bridge and mountain scenery.

Our wedding day on February 11, 2007. Eventually our papers had been processed and had arrived from South Africa, authorised by the Taipei Liaison Office in Johannesburg. I have my Aunt Nell to thank for that as she recieved and took all the documents to the relevant authorities to be authorised. Had it not been for Tanie Nell we would still be waiting, or worse case scenario I would have had to go back to South Africa myself to do it, at exhorbitant financial cost.

A parting shot of Kiki in front of the Old Dutch Fort at Anping in Tainan. This has a special significance to me as I am half Dutch on my paternal grandmother's side. It just feels special to have this monument to my Dutch heritage in my hometown in Tainan. A city of historical significance, where my wife's family comes from and where my people once had a settlement. It feels special that our son, a product of both worlds will be born in this city that has a special historical significance for both our cultures.
I think Oupa Brouwer would have appreciated it; a Dutch man who settled in South Africa, whose great-grandson settled in Tainan, to marry and have a child with a woman from Taiwan, in a city that was settled by the Dutch in the time when our ancestors were settling the Cape.
For this, and so many other reasons, Tainan will always be special for me, and I believe my wife and I will spend many wonderful years here with our son.

My Taiwan Collage.

2007-04-06T13:44:00.001+08:00

It's funny how after almost four and a half years you go through your pictures and then realise, "Man, I didn't take enough pictures." After a few months in Taiwan I bought a u300 Olympus digital camera, the digital equal of the old point and shoot cameras. Not a bad little camera, but I often don't carry it with me. So on vacations abroad and in Taiwan there are some "pictures" that are only to be found in my memory. I pledge to take more pictures in the future, and so I want to share some of the good times I've had in Taiwan. This post is largely for my family back home, as my grandmother mentioned I write about too many things she can't relate to. She wants to know more about what I'm doing. Well, here are some images of what I've been up to for the last few years. So have a look and meet some of my friends.

I was a real slow starter in Taiwan. The first six months I lived in a small little village in the mountains where I worked at a small family owned Bushiban. The place was called Cishan, in Kaohsuing County and even public transportation was hard to find. For six months I just worked, went home and intermittently sent home e-mails at a local internet cafe. You can find an internet cafe in any small hovel in Taiwan. In South Africa we have (jokingly) the K-TV (on M-Net, yeah) generation, in Taiwan they have the Internet online gaming generation.
The picture, above is after one year in Taiwan and one trip back to South Africa. I went to the southern Taiwan "beach resort," Kenting. This was in January 2004 during Chinese New Year. The girl in the picture is my first girlfriend in Taiwan, Rita. she is one of the kindest gentlest souls I have ever had the pleasure to meet in my life.

My first visit to Didi's, a very nice restuarant in Kenting that serves the most awesome Curry and Rice I have yet had outside South Africa, except my own, of course. This picture shows Rita and I with the Didi's Hostess, whom I thought looked particularly interesting in her leather jacket and cowboy hat.

When I first started venturing out of Cishan I started to go to Tainan on weekends during 2003. I was armed with my Lonely Planet, Taiwan guide. For Tainan it listed to foreigner pubs where it reported you could get 'Western meals', watch sport and enjoy a drink with some expats. Having been starved of anything resembling a steak, chips, sausage, a pie or even a hamburger I headed to the first one on the list: Dirty Roger's Superbar. Once there I saw two big bikes, one barman and one Taiwanese customer. Hmmmm.... Next I went to the Armory, which the Lonely Planet claimed "is a Tainan institution amongst the expat community. There I found four bargirls and one Taiwanese customer. I had one drink there but opted to leave after that as I seemed to be the only entertainment.
I then decided to wing it and headed down the JianKang road strip where I cam upon a little gem called "The Western Bar." Met many nice people there, including Rocky (middle).

I also met one of my long time best friends in Taiwan, Aussie Jim at the Western. Being an Aussie, watching Tri-Nations rugby with him adds to the excitement of the outcome.

Our time at the Western was short lived and the owner went back to the States at the end of 2003. My Aussie mate Jim was then offered to Begin a partnership with Du Mei at the Armory. As I mentioned above, the Armory wasn't quite the expat institution it had been anymore. So Jim moved there, and the foreigners followed. Here we are shortly after the move on Jim's birthday.

Myself, Aussie Jim and Scots Steve ready to head out from the Armory to celebrate the big guy's birthday.

Du Mei, the owner of the Armory. Du Mei is a true icon in Tainan, amongst the expat and local communities. Not only is she the owner of the Armory, she is also a devout Buddhist, a talented photographer (I purchase one of her originals take on one of her yearly pilgrimages to Tibet), supports orphanages in Tibet and tries to raise awareness and money for charities in Tibet with her photography. I'm honoured to call her one of my dearest friends, my Taiwanese sister (台灣姐姐).

In 2004 I got out of Tainan a little more. This is me outside Taipei 101 shortly after it had been opened. At this stage the observation deck hadn't been opened to the public yet.

Inside Taipei 101 on, what I call, the bookstore and coffee shop deck. They have this marble circle with names of cities from all over the world. Here I am next to Pretoria. Blue Bulls forever! There is also an awesome English bookstore called Page One on that floor. The best one in Taiwan, I go there every time I go up to Taipei.

I don't know if they have them in South Africa now, but at the time of my departure the Hooter restaurants were something I had only seen in the movies. Here I am at the Taipei Hooters. For those who don't know, Hooters means boobs. All the girls who work at Hooters restaurants are hot young women. This girl is no exception. I had to take a picture with her and my friend Kris from Taipei. The food was ok. American cuisine isn't my favourite.

Outside the Chiang Kai Shek Memorial in Taipei. It's a very beautiful monument, just a pity it was built to commemorate on of the biggest mass murders and thieves of modern times. The Mainland was well rid of him, and Taiwan is much better off now that he's gone. The CKS Memorial has now been renamed as has the CKS International Airport. The latter is now the Taoyuan International airport.

On board a Chinese fishing vessel in Danshui. I wanted to see what it looked like, so asked for permission to come aboard. The poor fishermen aren't allowed to leave the boat and aren't allowed a visa. So they asked me for some cigarettes and then invited me to eat dinner with them. I politely declined as I was on my way somewhere, but I did leave them a packet of smokes.

The dolphin's kiss. I went to Hualien with my Taipei friend Kris and her company. Her company was taking everyone on an all expenses paid trip to Hualien, the Ocean park and to stay in the awesome Hualien hotel. Kris's family couldn't go and her boyfriend wasn't in Taiwan so she asked me. I even got to make the dolphin sing.

The hotel we stayed in in Hualien. It was this amazing ocean view complemented by green as far as the eye can see. That's the Pacific Ocean. Lekker blou, ne? The east coast of Taiwan is so different from the west coast. It's cleaner and greener and reminds you why the Portuguese sailors originally dubbed the island 'Isla Formosa" - Beautiful Island.

Also at the Hualien Ocean park. Ah my Navy days... I still love ships and love to see them, sail on them and take pictures of them. This beautiful model is part of a "Pirates of the Carribean" attraction complete with a holographic show inside the model of pirates and a fun water slide ride.

In 2004 I didn't just watch rugby, I also discovered the Tainan Rugby Club. You can see the practice field above with a beautiful Chinese temple in the background. We usually play every Sunday and sometimes have competitions against sides from Kaohsuing and Taipei. Mostly we play practice games against Tainan junior and senior high schools as well as university teams. The rugby club is comprised of mostly retired Taiwan internationals and a handful of foreigners. They include Eben, Hercules, Fabian, Cliff (who used to play for Eastern Province) and myself from South Africa and the odd Canadian, Aussie and Englishmen who come and go. Our main New Zealand contingent in Richard returned to the Land of the Long White Cloud in 2006. He is much missed as he played with so much passion at age 40 as could be a lesson to many a wannabe great Springbok. We're hoping he'll get bored in NZ and be back after the 2007 RWC. We've had the odd American come around to play. The type who've played American Football, but they tend to find our Sunday run around a little rough for their liking and don't come back after a first Sunday. Pity really. Some nice big American lads running around Tainan.
We also played one match (as a warm-up) against the Taiwan National side in 2006. It doesn't seem to have helped them much 'cos I see they lost 59-0 to the Seven Boks in Hong Kong recently. We also had a Chinese women's team that came to Taiwan to tour. In Tainan there are no women sides and none of the other men sides (including the schools) wanted to play against women. So we played them. They weren't too bad.

In 2004 I met another friend that was to be a long term acquaintance. I was looking for a language exchange to improve my spoken Mandarin and met Riva. Unfortunately she was finishing off her degree and left to work in Taipei three months after we met. However, we had clicked enough in a short time to bond a friendship that has continued ever since. We still remain in contact and a try to see her every time I go to Taipei.

Towards the end of 2004 my romantic relationship with Rita had come to an end and we had decided to remain friends. Sometimes in you life you meet someone special who touches your heart so deeply but when one is honest with yourself you realise that the love you feel for that person is not of the romantic variety. After we had been apart for some time Rita gave me one of the best compliments I have ever received. She said, "You are more than my friend and you will always be my family." In 2005 I met Pei (above). She is one of the most awesome people I have met in Taiwan. She recently returned from a six month trip to Canada were she did a short study course to improve her English. She is currently pursuing her Masters degree and I'm sure that with her dogged determination she will make a big success of it.

In 2005 we thumped the Aussies and managed to win the Tri-Nations for the first time since 1998. This particular Aussie mate of mine was at least being a good sport about it. Most of the New Zealanders and Aussies were none too happy.

I don't know what it is with me and Aussies. In mid 2005 I met Sarah (middle) and Hannah (right). I was asked by a mutual friend to show them around Tainan and in doing so we quickly became friends. After our first time out we met up again the following weekend. Apparently I had been particularly charming and Hannah remarked, "Hey, perhaps tonight you can have another crack at Sarah." I duly did and we ended up semi-dating until they continued to South America. I say semi-dating, because I was to learn that Aussie girls are not what South Africans would call conventional. All in all, awesome girls. Nice to have known them.

Sarah was also a good sport wrt the Springbok victory over the Wallabies resulting in us winning the 2005 Tri-Nations. But I suspect that, being from Melbourne, she's more of a rugby league and Aussie Rules fan. Pictured on the right is old Scots John. One of my long time mates in Tainan. He recently got married to a girl from the Philippines. Don't think he'll be returning to Scotland.

In August 2005 I went on my second trip to Kenting. I was already in Taiwan for almost three years but had hitherto only been to Kenting once with Rita back in January 2004. Many expats go there every weekend. I like these kinds of photos. Four people, two South Africans, one Estonian and one Taiwanese. Left to right: Tina, myself, Triibu and Eben.

The girls and I on the beach. Eben was taking the picture. It was one heck of a hot day.

Typical South Africans. At the beach Eben and I see these two guys throwing around an oval shaped ball. Of course we had to go on over and inspect it further. Turns out it's an official American Football. The guy on the left is from England and the other guy is from America. It's slightly embarassing that I'm as white as the Englishman.

2005 was an interesting year for me for more than one reason. I left the school I had started at, Candy and Roger's Language School in Cishan and moved permanently to Tainan. I got a job at Sesame Street, and although I took a pay dive coupled with having to pay all my additonal expenses such as rent (Roger was especially generous), I now had more freedom to do other things and didn't spend as much time travelling or sitting doing nothing before and after classes. I also had time to actually start learning Chinese in earnest. Sesame Street may have there problems, but I have learnt a great deal and improved immeasurably as an ESL teacher with this organisation. The last year I've also had my own class that I teach two hours a day, including subject such as math, science and geography...not just English. We do everything in English and it's been lots of fun. I'm pictured here with my Taiwanese co-teacher, the lovely Antina, and our grade one class. from left to right: Jimmy, Sweeney, Cody, Ashley (who has recently left to live in Shanghai where her dad works), Jean, Richard and John. This class is all the more special because I taught Cody, Jean, Richard and John prior to grade one. It's been wonderful to watch them grow and actively see their English ability improve.

Working at Sesame Street has the added bonus of the company footing the bill for bi-annual trips somewhere on the island. Here I am at a hotel near Kenting where we went in November 2005.

On the November 2005 trip we also went on a boat ride around Kaohsuing harbour. It was the first time I had been on a boat since I had left the Navy. It was nice to feel the rythmic movement of water on a bow again.

This is a picture of me on the same boat sailing through KHH harbour. Kaohsuing is the biggest harbour in Taiwan and one of the biggest commercial harbours in the world. It really is huge and the background of this picture doesn't really do it justice. KHH harbour makes Durban harbour look like a paddling pool for toddlers.

On the way to Kenting with the company. Here I'm pictured with some of the lovely Taiwanese teachers I have the pleasure of working with. Yeah, it's a hard life, hey?

Scots John and I at the Armory. Wearing that horrid old fake leather jacket of mine it could only have been winter. If memory serves this was taken towards the end of 2005.

In April 2006 our company took us to Hsinchu in north Taiwan. Here we are at a flower farm in Hsinchu. You'll be surprised to know that of the four people in the picture three are South African. Left to right: Nick (from Canada - Quebec), Christian (South African - Dad is Taiwanese), Me and Peter (Christian's younger brother).

Basically the same folks as the previous picture, but with the addition of Nick's wife Josie. Nick and Josie have since left for Australia where they are studying culinary preparation before returning to Quebec. Two of the many wonderful people I have met here. I was really sorry to see them go. I had introduced Nick to the writings of J.M. Coetzee, whom he had taken quite a fancy to.

My last trip to Kenting was in August 2006. Here I am with Mark (also from South Africa) at the self same Didi's restuarant Rita and I went to in January 2004. I had the Curry again.

Hercules (my colleague and rugby mate from South Africa) and I in Taidong on a company trip in November 2006.

One of my magnificent Canadian friends, Brian. He has self taught himself almost all of his Chinese (including reading and writing) and has become quite adept. He has moved up north since this picture was taken, but I do still see him from time to time.

Eben and I at the Armory. This is a picture taken by Kiki on her cel phone. For some reason he's always sticking his tongue out in photos.

Interesting picture. Six people, five of who are South Africans. The obvious one is not a South African. The black guy in the foreground is from England, if I'm not mistaken. Eben and I in the background with three of our South African girls in the middle.

The Girls. Eben and I were once having a conversation about the various cliques you seem to find in the expat community. Foremost amogst those in Tainan being the Canadian clique and the Football (they get ever so upset if you call it soccer) clique. We were talking about how Canadians seem to come to Tainan in groups of five and after a year or two they all pack up and leave only to be replaced by a new group or two. Usually these guys all went to school and University together and then decide to travel to Taiwan together. During this conversation we realised....hey! We also have a clique. Ok, so it's not a South African clique, but sort of a loose affiliation of these girls and the rugby players. The girl in the middle of this picture is Pavla (sadly she went back to South Africa two months ago), who is Eben's ex and came to Taiwan with him. She was studying through UNISA, including Mandarin Chinese. By the time she left (after four years) her Chinese was awesome. So we always seemed somehow connected to this groups of girls (the only other Saffa being Cara on the far right), from England, Ireland, Canada and New York (for some ominous reason all the American girls in this group are from New York).

Here I am with Richard on the left. Judging from his expression either the All Blacks or the Otago Highlanders must have suffered a defeat recently. He usually smiles more. This is the self same Richard who has gone back to NZ and whom we miss so much on Sundays at rugby. We reckon he'll be back.

After the heady victory of gaining the Tri-Nations crown in 2005 we plumbed the depths of mediocrity again in 2006. After the Sprinboks lost 49-0 to Australia Jim pulled out an Aussie jumper and gave it to me as a momento. I had to wear it over my beloved Springbok jersey all night. At least it's in Australia's alternative colours looking more similiar to the Bok jersey as opposed to the traditional Aussie Gold jersey.
On the left of the picture is young Brent from Canada. His dad played rugby for Canada back in the day, and unlike most of his countrymen he was raised on the that noble game. He was a regular player on Sundays and loved it almost as much as Richard. I say 'almost' because I don't think even Sean Fitzpatrick was ever as passionate as Richard. And, of course, little John in the middle. Judging from his complexion I reckon he's had one Scottish whiskey too many.

Yes, John has had one whiskey too many. Here we are chatting to Stephen from America trying to educate him on the finer points of rugby. He seemed very interested, but that could just have been politeness and a morbid curiosity to see what John was going to get up to next.

The Soccer (I'm sorry, football) World Cup was on during the same time as the Tri-Nations. Eben and I were taking every opportunity to support any team BUT England. We were eventually rewarded in our doggedness by the under estimated Portuguese team.

Good times. Good friends. The last four years have been an incredible ride. I've had my moments of doubt, but in the big scheme of things I glad I took the road less travelled (all though it seems well travelled when you see the amount of expats in Taiwan) and did something I had always wanted to do. To think I could have stayed in the Navy, I would have been a commander, burdened with the work of inept superiors in addition to my own, quota's having caught up with me and the chances of advancing further less than naught. I wouldn't have met all the poeple I have and seen the places I've been to. I would still be under the boot of dark office politics verging on the outright discriminatory. Instead, I'm free and clear and loving it.
Thank you Taiwan. And thank you to all the wonderful people I have met here.
This truly is Isla Formosa!

South Africa - Something Positive

2007-03-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

What Guy Landy says is fairly true. I've had the same experience in Taiwan with negative ex-pat South Africans. Like Guy, I also go out of my way to avoid them. The irony is, I moved to Taiwan to get away from this sort and their persistent whingeing on weekends, and they're everywhere here spoiling the good image of our country and realising people's worst fear of what South Africa is sometimes perceived as by other foreigners. I therefore fully endorse Guy's speech. Enjoy.

A speech by Guy Lundy of Dimension Data Business Solutions

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Many years ago I was an exchange student in the USA, and every morning in my school, as in all schools across America, all classes came to a halt as the Pledge of Allegiance came over the loudspeaker system and every student stood to repeat these words. I was quite amazed by this display of daily brainwashing in so-called "land of the free". But in hindsight it isn't actually that amazing, because we've all experienced how Americans are just so proud to be American. No matter how big their problems, and heaven knows they've got a lot of them, Americans will still spend hours telling you how fantastic their country is, and in fact, how it is better than, pretty much anywhere else in the world.

What a contrast then, when I later spent a few years in London and I ended up actively avoiding other South Africans. Why? Because frankly their negativity about our homeland irritated me so much! These people who will gladly put new South African flags on their cars and support a whole cottage industry importing biltong and NikNaks to munch on as they cheer on the Springboks at Twickenham, will spend hours telling anyone who will listen just how awful it is in South Africa, how lucky they are to be in London and how they are never going back because it's in such a mess. At the time I put it down to the fact that they were justifying why they were holed up in their dingy little flats under grey London skies while their friends and family enjoyed the sunshine on Camps Bay beach. However, when I came home, expecting to be greeted by the smiles of new South Africans everywhere, I was very disappointed to find that exactly the same attitude is pervasive right here. The number of people, who asked me why I came back here and why on earth I had brought my French wife with me, simply amazed me. I would have thought the answer was perfectly obvious.

I was later very disturbed, although not surprised, to hear that our president found it necessary to make a point to South African businessmen that they should stop running down their own country on overseas business trips. Can anyone tell me what it is that makes sense about running down your own home to foreign people that you would like to visit here and invest here?
It seems to me like inviting your boss to dinner at your house in the hope of getting a promotion but discouraging him from coming because you're a terrible cook and your dog bites. Yes, we have problems, but so does everybody else. Sure, the Rand is down the toilet, but if you look closely enough, you'll see that just about every other emerging market country has suffered from the same woes - and that includes Australia and New Zealand, which everyone seems in such a rush to get to. And aren't we lucky that we aren't living in Argentina with their currency crisis? Sure, our neighbour, Zimbabwe, is run by a mad, despotic fool, but man am I glad that I'm not a Pakistani. We have AIDS and we also have an army of people trying to find a cure for it * possibly more vigorously than anywhere else since we have the most to lose from it. We do have corruption, and the Americans have George W. Bush, whether they like it or not. We've got all sorts of problems, yes, but must we be so hard on ourselves? In many ways we are far better off in South Africa as a whole than we have been at any time in our history.

Our people are getting educated and housed at a world-beating rate, we have amongst the world's cheapest electricity, our inflation is the lowest it's been in my lifetime, we have an economic growth rate and there is development everywhere you look. We have so much going for us; we have so many good people, such an interesting mix of cultures; we have so much beautiful countryside and natural resources that we can draw from - we really have such a bright future ahead of us. Let us concentrate on the positive things that surround us every day, the sunshine, the people, the beauty, and the progress. Constantly criticising our country can only do harm for you personally, your personal feeling of happiness and well-being and for the country that you know from the bottom of your heart that you love, otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I implore you, do not run down South Africa, neither at home nor overseas. Become ambassadors for your country. Welcome foreign guests and point out how far we have come and how far we're going to go how they need to watch out for us on the world stage. And if you're overseas on business or holiday (if you can afford it), tell people how much South Africa has going for it and invite them to come and see for themselves.
I have devised my own pledge of allegiance and I'd like to repeat it to you now : "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Republic of South Africa and to the interesting people, places and idiosyncrasies for which it stands, one nation under several religions, languages and cultures, yet indivisible, with freedom, basic needs and progress for all."

That is my pledge of allegiance to my home, our home. I pledge to help others see what is so good about it. Our Beloved Country!!! South Africa, almost alone amongst emerging market economies, is set to escape virtually unscathed from the latest bout of investor panic sweeping the developing world's fragile economies (The Times, London, August 2001).
The SA banking sector has been consistently ranked in the top 10 in terms of competitiveness (MD, Switzerland). When Nelson Mandela was inaugurated President in 1994, SA was insolvent (liabilities exceeded assets).
Today the Government's deficit is negligible - one of only a handful of countries in this position. We've had single digit inflation since 1993 - following 20 years of double-digit inflation.
Mortgage rates are at their lowest level since 1988. South Africa is one of only 12 countries, where we can drink water from a tap. Our tap water was found to be the 3rd best quality in the entire world.

Remember 15 years ago, in 1986: A state of emergency was declared White men did two years compulsory military service * 64 184 black people were removed from "white areas" * 3989 people were detained without trial * Our economic growth rate was 0.7 percent - today it is 3% * 64 countries had sports boycotts against SA!!!
South African wines win international awards every year and we have the longest wine route in the world. Nelson Mandela, an international icon of forgiveness, tolerance, and humanity is our favourite son. The Kruger Park has the most innovative management of a national park anywhere in the world - and is the world's most profitable game park. Eskom is the largest producer of coal-fired electricity in the world and South Africans pay the least for electricity in the world. South African Breweries is the 4^th largest brewer in the world and produces over 50% of China's beer!
Mercedes Benz C Class, BMW 3 Series and VW Golf/Jetta vehicles for all right-hand drive markets throughout the world are produced in South Africa. Didata grew from a local IT service provider into a huge, global networking company with branches in 30 countries. The Cape Peninsula has more species of plants here per hectare than any other area of the world.
Magnificent highways, warm, friendly, vibrant rainbow people! The world's most progressive Constitution, Kreepy Kraulies - a South African invention - Mrs Ball's chutney and biltong. The world's best looking population.

"For every guy who holds up a gun, there are 99 who hold out a hand of friendship" - Dennis Beckett, journalist.

Letters from an expectant father.

2007-03-19T19:48:00.000+08:00

As some of you no doubt know, my wife, Kiki, is pregnant with our first born. The baby has already been established as being a boy some weeks ago. In this update (having been silent for more than a week due to some unusual work activity) I'm going to show you what he looks like.

These three dimensional colour scans were taken at the hospital in Tainan city where we go for the mommy's monthly gyneacological check-up. These 3D scans where taken when baby was approximately 28 weeks old. They used to offer a 3D DVD video of your baby, but apparently that technology isn't as safe as they thought it was and complications arose. Now they just offer the 3D ultra sound. As can be seen in the scan above, you can very clearly make out the baby's face and facial features. The downside is, the poor kid is pressed against a mass of placenta and amniotic fluid so he's not quite picture perfect. But for an expectant father seeing the first real photo of his son, it's still awesome.

Here, as in the previous scan above, the left side of his face is pressed against placenta, or possibly the wall of the uterus. However, in this one you can see the lips more clearly as well as the nose. From this vantage point it also seems to me that he has his mother's cheekbones. The eyes, although fully developed at this stage, are closed. Apparently they do open and close their eyes at this point although their is no such evidence on our three 3D scans.

This is my favourite one of the three. It looks more like he's lying on a pillow in his bed and not inside his mother's tummy. It's amazing how fully developed (basically completely) they are at 28 weeks. I was so excited when I saw these 3D scans and, for me, it made it all the more real and imminent. We are now seven weeks out from the birth (placing the delivery date sometime at the end of April of the first week of May). Kiki went for her regular check up again last week. They have a procedure whereby they can determine the weight of the baby and as of last week Wednesday (April, 14) he was already 2,1kg! The doctor told us that in the last eight weeks the baby just picks up weight, gets longer (taller?) and stronger so he can independently survive outside the womb. So it seems he's going to be a big one.

Also, as I've said in a previous update, I've already chosen a name for my boy. He is to be named Joshua Alexander. His mommy and grandmother are responsible for his Chinese name, and they've still to come up with one. They will only name him after he's born. Apparently, in Chinese culture, a baby isn't considered a person (in the sense that we consider an unborn child a legal person, or legal entity - not to be confused with the fact that they do consider an unborn child a living person) until after they're born. Basically, they believe that the soul only enters the child when he/she takes its first breath. Therefore, in Chinese culture babies are only named after their birth. I've known one or two kids that remained nameless for as long as a year after their birth. Ironically, in Chinese culture a baby is already considered to be "1" when he/she is born. If any of you ever travel to a Chinese country and someone gives you their age, subtract one year to get the "western" age. I kind of hate this, because I'm considered 32 since January already, although my birthday is only in May. Imagine how the women feel...

I've also found a great deal of useful information online, especially pertaining to the baby's development. One site I use regularly can be found here. If any of you are pregnant, planning to get pregnant, or know anyone who is pregnant, be sure to check it out.

More on the Lantern Festival

2007-03-04T15:28:00.000+08:00

As mentioned in a previous post, the Lantern Festival (main event) is not in Tainan this year. As a result I'll not be able to get any nice pictures, although I might just head out to Anping tonight to a look if there's anything worth pointing the camera at. However, whilst browsing my virtual living room, aka Forumosa.com, I came across these great pics by another Forumosan, Belgian Pie. These photo's were taken in Taipei at the Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall. In the first picture (below) you can see an awesome fireworks display with a Taipei 101 and pig lantern.

This picture had me thinking that they had lit up Taipei 101 with a Pig Lantern next to the building. Then I realised, nope, they're both lanterns.

A nice view of the main structure of the Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall. In this picture you can see the statue of Chiang Kai Shek, himself, sitting inside. Usually the doors are closed at night and you can only go inside or see inside during the day.

This is a wonderful shot of the CKS Memorial Hall, the Taipei 101 and Pig Lanterns, the lights and the crowds at the CKS Lantern Festival.

This a picture of myself at the very same CKS Memorial some two years ago. It's also at night so it gives you a good sense of the size of the open area in front of the main structure and how many people are in the above picture.

Another interesting feature of Lantern Festival is that you can buy a small lantern that is released into the air. You then write your message or hope on the lantern and release it into the air. It is a message to the gods. If they feel up to it, they may just make your dreams come true. It's only NT$150 (Rand30). Kind of like a cosmological lottery ticket.
For more information on the Lantern festival you can check out these links, here, here and here.
Thanks again to Belgian Pie for allowing me to use his four pictures above of the CKS Lantern Festival in Taipei. I owe you a beer, mate.

Binlang Babes (檳榔西施)

2007-03-03T19:28:00.000+08:00

I stumbled on this article in the Taipei Times, and it reminded me of something that I often take for granted in the sense that I don't "see" it anymore. Which is odd, because it's a feature of the Taiwanese landscape that is everywhere to be seen, especially down south where the city and the county has a very blurred and easily accessed border. This phenomenon of which I speak, is the Taiwanese Betelnut girl, or Binlang Xi Shi (檳榔西施).

When I first arrived in Taiwan (more than four years ago now), I arrived via Taoyuan International Airport, more commonly known to foreigners as Chiang Kai Shek International at the time. Being somewhat jetlagged I took a bus to Kaohsuing and slept the entire journey. From there on things didn't get much better, sightseeing-wise. I was worried about getting lost and the awful smell of sewerage in the summer heat kept me indoors at my contact point until Roger, my first Bushiban Laoban (補習班老闆), came to pick me up that night. After that I slept for the better part of a day, and when I woke up I went walking around Cishan village in Kaohsuing county where I was to live from then on. One of the first things I saw that really puzzled me where rows of semi-naked girls in glass cubicles next to the side of the road. In full view of old folks and small children! Obviously, my first thought was that they were hookers. I was somewhat astounded.

Fellow South African, Tobie Openshaw, has done a photoessay of Binlang girls featuring beautiful pictures he has taken of these young ladies over the last seven years. The picture below is of our (South Africa's) own Tobie poseing next to one of his subjects. You can see more of Tobie's work on Youtube where he has one short and one long video on the subject. Tobie also has a very good photo gallery for your viewing pleasure, right here.

This is another picture taken by Tobie. In this picture you can see a Binlang girl in a sexy outfit standing outside her cubicle to attract customers, with a similiarly dressed colleague inside the brightly lit glass box. What exactly are they selling? Well, I like many other first time visitors to the island, was very wrong in assuming they are hookers. These girls sell a very special nut called the betelnut, taken from the Betel Palm (Areca Catechu), simply known as the Betel Nut tree. This is a cash crop grown in Taiwan and sold by these scantily clad Binlang girls to all and sundry. Chewing the nut gives one a slight feeling of euphoria, similiar to smoking a cigarette for the first time or after a long time.

This picture by Tobie Openshaw shows a very pretty binlang girl handing over a bag of goods to one of her customers. The owners of Betel Nut farms and the Betel Nut "Barons" have learned the number one lesson of advertising and consumerism. Sex sells. Although I've heard rumours that these girls will sleep with you for a fee, I've personally never seen any evidence of this. It also seems somewhat far fetched as Taiwan is awash with brothels where a quick roll in the hay will certainly cost a whole lot less than what the going rate with Binlang girls ALLEGEDLY is. So I seriously doubt prostitution exists amongst these girls. They also sell cigarettes, and in the odd trip to the countryside I often stop at Binlang stands to buy a soda or a pack of cigarettes. The girls are a lot more friendly and tolerant of bad Chinese than most youngsters working at a 7-11, and they are much better looking. So it's easy to see why they do a roaring trade with Betelnuts without having to resort to prostitution. Apart from that, they are very well paid, especially considering there is no skill involved, no responsibility and that these girls are usually not highly educated.

This is a picture of a Binlang girl posing with two boxes of Binlang and the classic "V" finger pose that everyone seems to use in Taiwan. One night at a local pub I was sitting next to a grungy looking individual watching a game of rugby and whilst enjoying a beer. Taiwan is a country where cigarettes are used as diplomatic currency and are even known to stop fights. This night I found the same to be true of Betelnuts. During half-time the binlang chewer next to me started asking about the rugby I was watching. After explaining the basics of the game he offered me a Betelnut. I was slightly hesitant as he was around my age but his teeth (in addition to being blood red) looked like he had borrowed them from his deceased grandfather for the evening. Not wishing to offend, and living by the code of "I'll try anything once," I took one and started to chew. Thankfully my new friend had warned me not to swallow, but to spit when necessary. This being the reason why sections of sidewalk often look the aftermath of a bloody knife fight. It definitely gave the promised feeling of euphoria, but it was one of the vilest things I've ever tasted.
There was one other occassion I was offered the same. I had ridden to Kaohsuing on my scooter (during Chinese New Year when everything is closed) to visit my girlfriend at the time. Having just entered the city from Tainan the back wheel of my scooter gave out and I was stranded on the side of the road. Most people just drove passed, but eventually an elderly gentleman and his wife stopped their scooter and asked if they could be of assistance. When I informed them of the tire situation they shrugged their shoulders and said there was nothing to be done as all the shops were closed. The old gent gave me a look somewhere between pity and concern and thrust out a bag full of binlang saying, "你要檳榔嗎?" Would you like some binlang?

The picture below is of (a rather fetching) binlang girl and a Taipei policeman. A while back the binlang racket went the way of all ad campaigns in a free market system. That is, do what works to a greater extreme than the competition and thereby corner a greater market share. In binlang speak that translates to the skimpier I dress the more customers I'll attract. My wife has told me she has actually once seen a binlang girl as naked as the day she was born. Whereas I've never seen that, I have seen the extreme where a basically naked girl is wearing a see through shift. Laws where passed that placed a minimum standard upon the girls, i.e. the three main areas (use your imagination) shall not be visible.

And this is the only part of the practice that ever gets any media attention. The fact that the girls are scantily clad. This is at once hypocritical and obtuse. Hypocritical because strippers are part and parcel of traditional marriage ceremonies (the receptions, which are usually held outside in the street) and naked dancing girls are often seen dancing at temples for the pleasure of the gods. On both counts, I kid you not. It's obtuse, because the chewing of betelnut is very bad for your health in that it can cause your teeth to fall out, mouth cancer and you are left with "beautiful" red teeth as an habitual user. Furthermore, the spitting of the juices is very unsightly and can be seen everywhere. Yet somehow the issue of dress is deemed the only point of concern.

As a motorist on Taiwan's roads I'll say this. The Betelnut beauty is a wonderful addition to an otherwise bleak semi-urban scenery, in that they are mostly found out in the counties. The girls are always friendly and, did I mention, they add in a positive way to the scenery?

For more information, casual reading and pictures about betelnut culture and, of course, binlang girls, check out these two site. The Story of the Nut and Betel Nut Beauty.

Taiwanese Senior High Test Scores

2007-03-02T00:09:00.000+08:00

I was very suprised when I saw this article in the China Post today. When you read the article try to remember that these kids go to school from 7am to 4:30pm. Afterschool, they generally either stay after school (night school/extra-classes) until 9pm or go to Bushiban and Anchinban until 9pm. In Bushiban they usually get extra English lessons, whereas Anchinban stresses Chinese and other school subjects. With this schedule it is unusual for Junior High (grades 7-9) and Senior High (grades 10-12) students to participate in extra-mural activities other than academics. This is obviously quite unlike South African school kids who go home at 2pm and only return to school at 3pm to do sport. It's certainly a harrowing schedule, as they usually also have classes on Saturdays and Sundays, so one would expect better than Zero for your mother-tongue.

To quote a piece from the article, "More than 13,000 senior students at senior high schools got a zero score for the English-language composition in the scholastic ability test while over 2,100 of them failed to get any score for Chinese composition."
Furthermore, "For the translation section in the English-language test, there was an even higher number of 16,465 students receiving a zero score."
And this excerpt for a Taiwanese teachers' reaction, "One teacher who supervised the examinations shook her head in disbelief about the unusually high numbers of students getting zero scores after studying both Chinese languages for almost 12 years and English for around 10 years."

To really put this in perspective, as you can no doubt deduce from their schedule described above, Taiwan is very different from South Africa (and other Western countries) in that academic excellence isn't derided. You don't get called a geek and a nerd for doing well. A Taiwanese student who excels academically is like a boy who plays rugby for the first team in South Africa. It's popular to do well academically, and whether this is a Confucian ideal or not, you are fawned over by parents and kids want to be your mate so you can help them. When doing writing compositions with my own students the reason most often given why Johnny or Jane is their best friend a student will write, "Because he/she is smart."
The kids who did badly in these exams will also have a very bleak future peering back at them. These tests follow them around for the rest of their lives and the results of which will be used to determine whether or not they can go to University, and for which Universities they can qualify to apply for. A prime example is President Chen Shui Bien (陳水扁). In his day he got the highest test results in the country which gained him entry to the most prestigious University in Taiwan, National Taiwan University (NTU), where he studied law.

But, damn! All joking aside. You got to be one serious dumbass to get zero in a composition test in your mother tongue that you've studied for 12 years! To add insult to injury, I know of several foreigners that have completed a Masters Degree in Chinese Literature on the island.

I've joked on occasion with my wife that my (written) Chinese is better than that of some of my elementary school students. I now know it must be true.

The song "De La Rey"

2007-03-01T00:32:00.000+08:00

With the commemoration of the 228 Massacre in Taiwan hardly behind us I finally discovered a video of the song "De La Rey" that has caused quite the commotion in South Africa. The youtube video link is here. This is the best English translation I can come up with:

On a mountain at night
We lie in the dark and wait
In the mud and the blood I lie cold
Knapsack and rain clings to me

And my house and my farm were burnt
so that they could capture us
But the flame and the fire
now burn deep, deep inside me

(chorus)
De La Rey, De La Rey
Will you come lead the Boers
De La Rey, De La Rey
General, General
As one we shall fall around you
General De La Rey

Against the Khaki's that laugh
A handful of us against a very big force
The cliffs lie here against our backs
They think it's finished

But the heart of a Boer
is deeper and wider
They'll still see that
He's coming on a horse
The Lion of West Transvaal

(chorus)x2

Because my wife and my child
sit in a prison and rot
The Khaki's are scared to the marrow
of a nation that will rise up again

(chorus)
General, General
will you come fetch the Boers

The song is very rousing with a catchy tune and chorus. It's mostly about the Second Anglo-Boer war (1899-1902) and a Boer General, General Koos De La Rey. Some (short sighted idiots) have branded this song racist and an attempt to incite Afrikaners (white South Africans) to rebellion. Now it's been a long time since I heard such utter nonsense. Even Dr. Pallo Jordan (Minister of Arts and Culture?) has publicly stated that this isn't the case and that the song wont be banned.
Having now listened to and seen the video for myself, I really can't see what all the hallyballoo is about. The song has no relevance to racism as the Second War of Liberation (Tweede Vryheidsoorlog) was between two internationally recognised Independent Republics, The Republic of the Orange Free State and the South African Republic (Transvaal Republic) and outright invaders in the form of the British Empire (joined disgracefully by Australia, New Zealand and Canada). Not only did the Empire (under Lord Kitchener) commit gross human rights violations (including the world's first concentration camps) against the Boers, but after having burnt everything in the Republics to the ground they also placed the African labourers on the farms in concentration camps and used them as forced (slave?) labour.
In retrospect it can be said that the likes of de la Rey weren't just Boer heroes, but very much South African heroes. When we commemorate heroes like Job Maseko, Adam Kok, Reverend Isaac Dyobha, Galeshewe and Makhanda surely we should also remember men like de la Rey.

228 - A Day Off...Kinda...

2007-02-28T23:27:00.000+08:00

Yep, it's that time of the year. Lantern Festival. Lantern Festival is an awesome annual tradition where literally thousands of traditional Chinese lanterns are set up in a massive display to mark the New Year. The main theme of the lantern displays are the yearly animals of the Chinese Zodiac. Being the Year of the Pig (豬年), this year there will be massive displays featuring the noble Farter and Eater of All Things. Unfortunately, for me, the main Lantern Festival display will be in Chiayi (嘉義燈會) which may prove to be just that little bit too far for a day trip. Depends on how I feel come Sunday, but I doubt I'll be in the mood for the crowds. If I do happen to drag myself out there, I'll be sure to post some pictures for your viewing pleasure. I now realise that we've been spoilt the past two years with the Festival on our doorstep.

Today, being 28 February (better known in Taiwan as 228 day) was a day off work as it is a National Hoilday. The history behind 228 is as varied as the opinions behind it. What really happened, who was responsible and why depends on who you ask and their own background. But this is the basics. After 50 years under Japanese colonial rule (1895-1945) the UN handed Taiwan back to the government of China. In 1947, after two years of Chinese rule, the locals became somewhat disenchanted with the poor economy and what was seen as nepotism and corruption by Chinese (Mainlanders) officials. Tensions became hieghtened between the local Taiwanese and the Mainland Chinese officials and exploded into open revolt in February. The story of what triggered the eventual revolt is that there was a dispute between a local cigarette vendor and an anti-smuggling Chinese official on the streets of Taipei on 28 February. When the official attempted to confiscate her wares she resisted and several passersby came to her aid. The situation got more out of hand and (as they say) one thing led to another as rioting started. In any event, the revolt was short lived as it was brutally put down by Mainland troops stationed on the island, resulting in the death of between 10 to 20 000 civilians. For this reason it is laughable when some people prefer to refer to the 228 massacre as "The 228 Incident." Many of the details are still hotly debated on this beautiful island, and today it is simply remembered as "Peace Memorial Day."
Oh ja, and we get a day off work.

So, how did I comemorate 228? I'm South African, Bru. What do you think? I invited my mate Hercules (also South African) and his Taiwanese wife Carolyn for a braai (bbq) at our house. This is somewhat of a different venture as opposed to the South African backyard braai. We live on the 6th floor of an apartment building, which means the real braaing actually takes place outside on the terrace. Our apartment is pretty homey where this is concerned because we live on a quiet street full of trees. It was a nice break from the usual Wednesday routine and we even had braaibroodjies (bbq sandwiches) and South African braai salt...

(For those interested in reading more about the 228 Massacre, Wikipedia has a pretty good page on that here.)

New Blog...

2007-02-27T11:46:00.000+08:00

I've decided to permanently move my blog from http://bismarckintainan.spaces.live.com/ to here. The first thing that made me decide to find a new blog home was that my grandmother remarked the writing on my old blog is too small for her to read. As my blog was created primarily for my family to read about my doings and goings, and secondly to share my experiences in Taiwan with anyone interested, I guess it would be wise to move somewhere where the reading enjoyment would be maximised. I suppose I could increase the font, and/or change the colour theme at my old blog, but this site just seems more user friendly. Some of the sites that are listed in my links section are also hosted here and were the final factor in choosing this site.

My main problem, at present, is what to do with my old blog entries at the old site. I could just put them on here, but then they wouldn't be in chronological order, and for myself that would make no sense. So, for now, you can still go to the old site to catch up on the history, and I'll decide what to do as I become more schooled in the inner workings of this site.

To any pundits reading out there, any tips would be appreciated. There are three things I would like to know how to do, currently.
1 - How to (if possible) create a blog history to bring over my old blog entries from my old site.
2 - How to personalise my Heading with a picture background.
3 - How to post pictures, centered, with labels and/or descriptions underneath.

So, hopefully, this blog will just get better and better as time goes by, and my skill improves. I hope you enjoy the journey with me.

End of the "Festive" Season...

2007-02-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

To South Africans back home, this title may seem a little odd. I can hear you thinking, "But 2 January was almost two months ago..." And right you are, BUT I ain't in Nan Fei (南非), baby. Technically, the Chinese New Year vacation ended on 22 February, but most people (and the banks) had off 'till today, 26 February. To those who have never spent a Chinese New Year in a Chinese country (i.e. Taiwan, Singapore, China, Macau, Hong Kong or even Malaysia and Indonesia for that matter), during the Lunar New Year festivities businesses are closed and people traditionally go home to their families. Very much like the period between 22 December and 2 January in South Africa. As such, businesses are closed and nothing happens for the duration. Hotel prices and airfares skyrocket and the aural senses are bombarded with fire crackers and fire works. How infants and small animals survive this annual onslaught is beyond me.

We didn't go anywhere during this time. I opted to stay at home and relax. I did, however, spend a day out at Anping (安平) harbour. We went to eat seafood and see the old Dutch Fort, aka Anping Fort or Fort Zeelandia. Fort Zeelandia (熱蘭遮城 - rèlánzhē chéng) was a fortress, similiar to the Castle in Cape Town, built over ten years from 1624 to 1634 by the Dutch East India Company during their 38 year rule over the south-western part of Taiwan. Although the site has been previously named Orange City (奧倫治城), Anping City (安平城), and Tayoan City (台灣城), the current name of the site in Chinese is Anping Fort (安平古堡). The Dutch chose a sandy peninsula off the coast of Tainan as the site of the fortress since this would allow the fortress direct access to the sea and with it, supplies and reinforcements from Batavia in event of a siege. Unfortunately, the site chosen lacked adequate supplies of fresh water, which had to be shipped in from the mainland. Ironically, today the entire site is part and parcel of the island in that it seems either silt has caused the surrounding area to become higher or sea levels have decreased somewhat since the 17th century. In this Fort Zeelandia is also similiar to the Castle in Cape Town. The bricks used for the construction of the fortress were brought over from Java, and the mortar used consisted of a mixture of sugar, sand, ground seashells and glutinous rice. The fort was designed to be surrounded by three concentric layers of walls and the four corners of the fort were built into protruding bastions for better defence. It, therefore, has one corner less than our own Castle.

On 30 April 1661, General Zheng Cheng Gong, who fled Ming Dynasty China (1368-1644) in a similiar move to Chiang Kai Shek 289 years later, laid siege to the fortress (defended by 2,000 Dutch soldiers) with 400 warships and 25,000 men. After a nine-month siege with the loss of 1,600 Dutch lives, the Dutch surrendered the Fortress on 1 February 1662, when it became clear that no reinforcements were forthcoming from Batavia (Present day Jakarta, Java, Indonesia) and when the defenders ran short of fresh water. Under the peace treaty signed on 1 February 1662 between Zheng Cheng Gong and Frederick Coyett, the Dutch governor, the Dutch surrendered the Fortress and left all the goods and property of the VOC behind at Fort Zeelandia. In return, all officials, soldiers and civilians were free to leave with their personal belongings and supplies. On 9 February 1662, Coyett handed over the keys to the fort and lead the remaining Dutch forces and civilians back to Batavia by sea.

Interestingly, Zheng Cheng Gong never returned to China and died in Taiwan. This was also a fate shared by Chiang Kai Shek. 289 years apart both men fought a losing war in China, came to Taiwan to re-group with the plan of reconquering the Mainland. Both died here bringing with them a massive influx of Mainland Chinese that has changed the demographic face of this country forever. Today Taiwan is a predominantly ethnic Chinese country and the original aboriginal peoples (原住民) are very much in the minority. As a result, their culture and their languages have suffered and most have been "Sino-fied." Most, if not all, local traditions are of Chinese origin and Taiwan is still the only Chinese speaking country in the world that uses traditional Chinese characters. This is at the same time sad, and alarming. If traditional characters are to become a lost "art" that would be similiar to an English speaking person unable to read or understand Shakespeare, Milton or even Austen.
As far as the aboriginal peoples are concerned, the government has made something of an effort in recent years to promote aboriginal culture and create an awareness for and of the original inhabitants. However, unless you actually go looking for it, the only place where any of this is evident is if you pay a visit to a local night market. There one can purchase interesting things like Aboriginal rice wine, Aboriginal BBQ and perhaps the odd hand made trinket or clothing item. To most Taiwanese Aboriginal culture is nothing more than a curiosity, and almost any company trip on the island (especially the East and South coast) includes a visit to a "traditional" Aboriginal village, complete with dancing and storytelling.

And so, having gone off on something of a tangent here, basically I just lay around in the house and relaxed for Chinese New Year. I did do a painting, though...
For now, it's back to work and the (not-so) long slog to Summer vacation. Doubt I'll be having any down time then, as the baby is expected in another ten weeks or so. Yep, he's now 30 odd weeks old. Kiki's starting to feel uncomfortable. Other than that, all's still on track and both mommy and baby are healthy.